2021年考研英语一大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2021年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there be a kids, wearing the costume and saying: "Dad, many schoolfellows thinkvit is hot delighted to learn play opera. ", while his dad say “Do you like it yourself? It is enough ." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that, keeping yourself favorite is the brush that paints a bright future, while giving up your favorite for opinion of other people is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, keeping yourself favorite and following yourself heart has become a key quality that distinguish exceptional individuals form ordinary people, and its significant has became increasingly evident. On the other hand, influenced by other people easily is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them form shining brightly in future society.

In brief, keeping your passions is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of influenced by other people easily to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：there be a kids

批改：改为 “there is a child”（主谓一致，“kid” 为可数名词，单数用 “child” 更正式）

原文：thinkvit

批改：拼写错误 “think”

原文：hot delighted

批改：“boring”（语义颠倒，同学观点应为 “枯燥” 而非 “开心”）

原文：,

批改：删除

原文：for opinion of other people

批改：改为 “to cater to others’ opinions”（“迎合他人的观点”，“cater to” 为固定搭配，补充 “others’” 所有格，逻辑更通顺）

原文：distinguish

批改：改为 “distinguishes”（定语从句谓语与先行词 “quality” 一致，用第三人称单数）

原文：form

批改：改为 “from”（“distinguish A from B” 固定搭配）

原文： significant

批改：改为 “its significance”（名词形式作主语）

原文：influenced

批改：改为 “being easily influenced by others”（动名词短语作主语，“easily” 置于副词位置，更符合语序）

原文： form

批改：from

原文：became

批改：become，过去分词也是become

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there be a kids, wearing the costume and saying: "Dad, many schoolfellows thinkvit is hot delighted to learn play opera. ", while his dad say “Do you like it yourself? It is enough ." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that, keeping yourself favorite is the brush that paints a bright future, while giving up your favorite for opinion of other people is the shackle that hinders progress

批改：描述图片内容，符合题目要求

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes, chances, and challenges, keeping yourself favorite and following yourself heart has become a key quality that distinguish exceptional individuals form ordinary people, and its significant has became increasingly evident. On the other hand, influenced by other people easily is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them form shining brightly in future society.

批改：提出了自己的观点，使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词，条理较为清晰

原文：In brief, keeping your passions is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of influenced by other people easily to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：总结全文，升华主题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

原文准确把握漫画核心寓意（坚守个人热爱，不迎合他人观点），搭建了议论文标准框架，核心意图明确，具备基础写作逻辑。但存在以下问题：语法与拼写错误密集（如 “thinkvit”“form”“has became” 等），主谓不一致。希望继续努力，加油！

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2021年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一大作文冲刺保驾护航。