考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2016年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语一作文真题备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a farther smoking, watching TV and asking his son to work hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is a farther studying with his son.

Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, good example can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fullfillments, thus making life rewarding and meaningfull, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growths stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：farther smoki

批改：farther 是常见拼写错误，此处应为 father

原文：the left-hand cartoon, there is a farther smoking, watching TV and asking his son to work hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is a farther studying with his son.

批改：清晰描述了两幅漫画的核心内容，完成了引入任务

原文：ently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：本段是全文的亮点！ 你用“brush that paints a bright future”和“shackle that hinders progress”这两个比喻，精准、形象地概括了漫画主旨，语言非常出彩。

原文： self-fullfillments, t

批改：self-fullfillments 拼写错误，应为 self-fulfillment (不可数名词)。

原文：aningfu

批改：meaningfull 拼写错误，应为 meaningful。

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, good example can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fullfillments, thus making life rewarding and meaningfull, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：论证框架很好，正反对比有力。主要问题在于几处拼写错误

原文：r growths

批改：growths 作为“成长”抽象概念时不可数，应为 growth

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分

优点：结构完美，立意深刻，比喻精妙，论证逻辑严密，结尾有力。

主要失分点：全文存在几处固定的拼写错误（father, fulfillment, meaningful）和一处用词可优化之处。

总评与修改建议：

修改建议：

请务必在考前彻底解决这几个单词的拼写”：

father (父亲)

fulfillment (实现)

meaningful (有意义的)

建议你将它们记在笔记本最显眼的位置。

在第三段说理时，可以瞬间联系一下漫画内容。

优化示例：On the one hand, a good example, as shown by the father studying alongside his son, nurtures the soul by demonstrating the value of lifelong learning...

考研英语一作文真题写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。