考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

2011年考研英语一大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on the boat, viewing the scenery of river, eating foods, and throwing litter into the river, thus make the river dirty and full of rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental protection and continuous environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international competitiveness. Additionally, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the awareness of environmental protection.

How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to cultivate the awareness of protecting the environment. With the support of these measures, we can effectively take the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：make

批改：改成非谓语making

原文：As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, there are two tourists, sitting on the boat, viewing the scenery of river, eating foods, and throwing litter into the river, thus make the river dirty and full of rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental protection and continuous environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international competitiveness. Additionally, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the awareness of environmental protection.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

原文：How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to cultivate the awareness of protecting the environment. With the support of these measures, we can effectively take the issue at its core.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

原文：take

批改：tackle

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意非谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。

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