本文整理了2013年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文,是备考考研英语作文真题范文的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值,历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点,下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart above explicitly covers proportion of callege students taking part-time jobs among freshmen, sophemores, jouniors and seniors. It is clearly indicated that freshmen account for 67.17%, sophemores account for 71.13%, jouniors account for 71.93% and seniors account for 88.24%
First of all, there is no doubt that with the remarkable change of career concepts of college students was able to take part-time jobs to enhance work experience which cons equently led to phenomenon. Furthermore, owing to the easy access to the internet to seek a suitable part-time job for collage students put more emphasis a plentiful campus life which could be largely achieved through turned into college students taking part-time jobs widely.
We can draw a safe confusion, from the analysis made above, that this trend will surely continue in the upcoming years, as the basic factors of influence remain. As far I am concerned, it is my sincere hope that college students will have a rich experience for part-time jobs. So that we can have a competitive advantage.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: callege students taking part-time jobs among freshmen, sophemores
批改:callege 拼写错误,应为 college。 sophemores 拼写错误,应为 sophomores
原文:jouniors
批改:jouniors 拼写错误,应为 juniors。
原文:he bar chart above explicitly covers proportion of callege students taking part-time jobs among freshmen, sophemores, jouniors and seniors. It is clearly indicated that freshmen account for 67.17%, sophemores account for 71.13%, jouniors account for 71.93% and seniors account for 88.24%
批改:你完成了图表描述的核心任务,包含了所有四个年级的数据,要点齐全。主要问题在于拼写准确性和句式多样性。好的开头不仅要数据全,更要表达准且亮。
原文:cons equently
批改:cons equently 拼写错误,应为 consequently。
原文:or collage st
批改:collage 拼写错误,应为 college
原文:First of all, there is no doubt that with the remarkable change of career concepts of college students was able
批改:First of all, there is no doubt that with the remarkable change... was able to...:这是一个非常严重的句式杂糅错误。一个句子出现了两个主语(change和students)和两个谓语动词(is和was able to),导致句子结构破碎,意思不清。
原文:put more emphasis a plentiful ca
批改:for collage students put more emphasis a plentiful campus life:此部分缺少谓语动词,结构不完整。put more emphasis 后应接介词 on。
原文:hrough turned int
批改:hrough turned into:语法错误,介词through后应接动名词turning或名词,但turned into(转变为)用在此处意思不通。
原文:irst of all, there is no doubt that with the remarkable change of career concepts of college students was able to take part-time jobs to enhance work experience which cons equently led to phenomenon. Furthermore, owing to the easy access to the internet to seek a suitable part-time job for collage students put more emphasis a plentiful campus life which could be largely achieved through turned into college students taking part-time jobs widely.
批改:本段是失分最严重的地方。虽然你试图从“职业观念改变”和“互联网便利性”两个很好的角度进行分析,但严重的语法错误和不通顺的句子导致你的论点无法被清晰理解,这极大地影响了阅卷老师对你写作水平的评判。
原文:confusion, f
批改:confusion:这是致命的拼写错误,你想表达的应该是 conclusion(结论)。confusion意思是“困惑”,完全改变了句意。
原文: As far
批改:As far I am concerned:固定搭配错误,缺少as,应为 As far as I am concerned。
原文:it is my sincere hope that college students will have a rich experience for part-time jobs. So that we can have a competitive advantag
批改:So that we can have...:这是一个从句,不能独立成句。应该与前面的句子用逗号连接。 have a rich experience for:介词使用不当,应为 have a rich experience in。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:7分
首先要肯定你,你对作文结构的把握是清晰的。但是,这篇作文暴露出的基础语言能力问题非常突出,特别是句子结构的完整性与连贯性,以及关键词汇的拼写。这严重阻碍了你的表达,导致内容传达不清。
给你的核心提升建议:
首要任务:写出正确的简单句。请暂时放下对复杂句式的追求。当前阶段,请确保你写出的每一个句子都结构完整(主谓宾齐全)、意思清晰。宁可写短句、写对句,也不要写长句、写错句。
建立“拼写错题本”:请把 college, sophomore, junior, conclusion 这些你反复拼错的词记录下来,反复背诵、默写,直到形成肌肉记忆。
简化论证,清晰表达:选择一个观点,用最直接的方式表达出来。例如:
(观点)Students want to gain work experience.
(原因)Because it helps them find a good job after graduation.
(合成简单句)Many students take part-time jobs to gain valuable work experience, which can enhance their competitiveness in the job market.
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