2023年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2023年考研英语二大作文批改资料，对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开，本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The line chart above explicitly displays the change of the health literacy level of Chinese residents, from 2012 to 2021. It is clearly indicated that health literacy level ascended steeply from 8.8% to 25.4% during this period of time.

First of all, there is no doubt that with the considerable rise of health awareness, residents feel necessary to keep healthy, which consequently led to this phenomenon. Furthermore, owing to the pandemic situation resulting from COVID-19, residents put more emphasis on enhancing physical fitness, which could be largely achieved through improving health literacy level of residents.

We can draw a safe conclusion, from the analysis made above, that this trend will surely continue in the upcoming years, as the basic factors of influence remain. As far as I am concerned, it is my sincere hope that the health literacy level of residents will continue to grow, so that we can enjoy the benefits brought by the sports and diets.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：of t

批改：改为 “the changes in the health literacy level”（“changes” 表 “多项变化” 更贴合图表趋势，“in” 更合适）

原文：he line chart above explicitly displays the change of the health literacy level of Chinese residents, from 2012 to 2021. It is clearly indicated that health literacy level ascended steeply from 8.8% to 25.4% during this period of time.

批改：该段完成 “描述图表” 的基础任务，准确捕捉健康素养整体上升的趋势，也可以在数据描述上丰富一些

原文：feel

批改：地道的表达是 feel it necessary to stay healthy 或 have a stronger desire to stay healthy

原文： owing to the pandemic situation resulting from COVID-1

批改：语法没错误，就是可以适度简化，简化为 “due to the COVID-19 pandemic”

原文：, which could be largely achieved through improving health literacy level of residents

批改：没有错误，但是可以适度优化，改为 “a goal largely achievable by enhancing their health literacy”（用 “a goal” 指代前文 “提升体能”，“their” 指代 “居民”，避免重复，表达更地道）

批改：该段完成 “分析现象原因” 的核心任务，从健康意识和疫情影响两方面展开，方向贴合实际，可以优化表达简洁性和针对性

原文：t is my sincere hope that the health literacy level of residents will continue to grow, so that we can enjoy the benefits brought by the sports and die

批改：观点挺好的，也可以适度丰富一下，比如 “so that people can better enjoy the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, including scientific exercise and balanced diets”（明确 “健康生活方式” 的具体内涵，丰富评论实质性

批改：本段功能完整，对趋势进行了总结、预测和升华。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/15分

本文结构完整，论证有力。第二段的原因分析是显著的优点，两个论点都精准地捕捉到了居民健康素养提升的内在和外在驱动力，逻辑清晰。文章的主要优化空间在于两个方面：首先，第一段可以对数据描述的丰富度进行扩充；其次，部分表达的严谨性、丰富度等可以进一步提升。通过在数据表述和语言细节上更求精进，文章的整体质量将更上一层楼。加油~

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