考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2023年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The lie chart clearly depicts physical level among domestic residents from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health index was 8.80%, but by 2016, this rate had gradully risen to 11.58%. In contrast, the proportion of health index experienced a significant increase of 13.82 from 2016 to 2021.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound medical system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for their health. In addition, as we know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impact every aspect of our lives, significant altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing of people have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident the te that the proportion of health index will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The lie chart clearly depicts physical level among domestic residents from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health index was 8.80%, but by 2016, this rate had gradully risen to 11.58%. In contrast, the proportion of health index experienced a significant increase of 13.82 from 2016 to 2021
批改:能够完整地描绘出图表的信息,句子连贯。
原文:index
批改:健康素养的表达为health literacy,图表中给出了
原文:index
批改:literacy
原文:impact
批改:impacted
原文:significant
批改:significantly
批改:加number
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound medical system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for their health. In addition, as we know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impact every aspect of our lives, significant altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing of people have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:能够具体阐释出图表背后的真实意义,能够运用逻辑关系词连接句子,使得句与句之间衔接连贯,望继续保持。
原文:the te
批改:去掉
原文:index
批改:literacy
原文:What about future trends? I am confident the te that the proportion of health index will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:分析并预测了未来的趋势,言简意赅。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11/15
1)内容符合题目的要求,能够全面的描绘出图表中的内容。
2)词汇方面,注意认真观察图表,如果图表中给出相关词汇要按照图表中的写;句式方面,能够运用一些复杂句式,句型结构灵活多变;语法方面,注意词性之间的修饰关系以及成分完整。
3)逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,符合英语句子结构的要求。
4)修改建议:可以看出作文完成的很认真,内容充分,语言逻辑清晰,值得表扬。一定要细心一些,注意避免以上小的细节问题。再接再厉。
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