思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2013年考研英语一批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon , there are a group of graduates ,standing on the road of life and facing four choices , seeking a job, going abroad ,continuing learn -ing and setting up a company . Evidently , the cartoon ist intends to convey to readers that choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly signific ant.First and foremost, choosing a suitable path can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self -fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and mean -ful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, while certain Chinese traditions may be outlated, the quality of choosing a suitable path is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an band that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.
In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for social and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit . Therefore , we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, create a happier life and build a more harmonious society.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:continuing learn -ing and setting up a company . Evidently , the cartoon ist intends to convey to readers that choosing a suitable path that plays an important and positive role both in personal lives and in society
批改:本段语言存在以下问题:1. "continuing learn -ing" 拼写和断词错误,应为 "continuing learning" 或 "pursuing further studies"。2. "the cartoon ist intends" 中,"ist" 为多余拼写错误,应为 "the cartoon/cartoonist intends"。3. “plays an important and positive role” 多了多余的 “that”,句子结构冗余,应删去,改为 “choosing a suitable path plays an important and positive role”
批改:本段基本完成了描述图画和揭示寓意的任务。图片描述部分涵盖了核心要素(毕业生、四条路),寓意揭示也点出了“选择合适道路”的重要性。然而,语言表达上出现了几处不应有的拼写和语法错误,尤其是关系从句的误用
原文:gnific ant.First and foremost, choosing a suitable path can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self -fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and mean -ful, rather than being self-consuming. What is more, while certain Chinese traditions may be outlated, the quality of choosing a suitable path is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an band t
批改:1. "signific ant" 拼写错误,应为 "significant"。2. "self -fulfillment" 和 "mean -ful" 的断词错误,应为 "self-fulfillment" 和 "meaningful"。3. "while certain Chinese traditions may be outlated" 中,"outlated" 为拼写错误,应为 "outdated"。此句引入“中国传统可能过时”这一概念,与“选择人生道路”的关联性非常弱,逻辑上显得突兀且牵强。4. "as it is an band that keeps..." 中,"an band" 冠词使用错误且为拼写错误,应为 "a bond"。
原文:g.
批改:本段旨在深入阐释寓意,但论证逻辑存在问题。第一个论点(促进个人成长)尚属合理。然而,第二个论点试图将“选择合适道路”拔高为维系中华民族繁荣的“纽带”,这一类比过于宏大和空泛,缺乏必要的解释和过渡,导致论证失真,与图片的关联度低。
原文:In brief, choosing a suitable path is the catalyst for social and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit . Therefore , we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential, create a happier life and build a more harmonious socie
批改:本段语言使用较为规范。 "catalyst" (催化剂) 一词使用精准,是亮点。结尾的排比句 "develop individual potential, create a happier life and build a more harmonious society" 气势充足
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20分
总评
本文结构完整,能够围绕图画展开论述。然而,文章在内容深度和逻辑连贯性上存在明显短板。第二段的论证,尤其是第二个理由,与漫画寓意的关联性不强,逻辑跳跃,未能进行有效、切题的分析,这是主要的失分项。此外,全文出现的多处拼写、断词和语法错误,也反映了语言基本功不够扎实的问题,影响了表达的准确性与专业性,虽然可能是扫描问题,但是日后也要多注意,这次没怎么因此给你扣分。建议未来练习中,一方面要夯实语言基础,另一方面需着重训练审题和构建严谨论证链条的能力,不要生搬模版。
参考范文
As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, a group of graduates stand at a crossroads on the path of life, confronted with four distinct choices: seeking employment, studying abroad, pursuing further education, or starting their own business. This image powerfully symbolizes the critical juncture that every graduate must face and the multitude of paths that lie before them.
The intended meaning of this drawing extends far beyond the immediate choices of graduates. It underscores the universal importance of decision-making and self-awareness in one"s personal and professional life. Making a choice that aligns with one"s individual skills, interests, and long-term aspirations is paramount to achieving personal fulfillment and avoiding a sense of drift or regret. Furthermore, when individuals make well-considered choices that suit them best, they are more likely to excel in their respective fields, thereby contributing more effectively to societal progress and harmony.
In my view, this phenomenon highlights the value of both personal introspection and societal support systems, such as career guidance. There is no one-size-fits-all path to success. Therefore, we should encourage a culture that respects diverse career choices and empowers individuals to make informed decisions based on self-knowledge. Only in this way can we foster a generation that is both personally satisfied and collectively productive.
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2013年考研英语一范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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