考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

距离2027考研英语初试已不足一年，写作冲刺阶段高效的复习方式就是精研历年真题高分范文。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例，紧扣考研英语一写作冲刺写作锦囊要点，全文结构严谨、表达地道，适合所有2027考生。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watch TV, but demanding that his son should study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is the father and the son both studying hard. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for the children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples set by parents can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：watch

批改：要与前面smoking形式一致，改为 watching

原文：is

批改：the father and the son是主语，这里要用 are

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watch TV, but demanding that his son should study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand cartoon, there is the father and the son both studying hard. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future for the children, while negative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：对图表的描述可以再详细一点，比如对比下 两幅图中孩子的状态，通过对比，更有助于引出个人观点

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples set by parents can ignite children’s creativity, and promote their personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making their life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples set by parents are like heavy chains that hinder children’s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：论证了正面榜样的意义和负面榜样的危害，表达通顺

原文：this practice

批改：指代不明，可改为positive examples

原文：In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：呼应论点，注意表意的明确性

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

题目要求：对漫画的描述可以再优化下，立意正确，论述内容符合题意；

语言表达：全文用了较多的模板句，但也有少量语法问题，如动词形式，主谓一致，另外有个别表意不明的地方，表达上还有提高的空间；

行文逻辑：第一段描述漫画内容并表达个人观点，第二段进行详细论述，第三段呼应论点，架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；继续积累经典句式并灵活使用；加强语法练习；

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