本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2017年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, lying on the chair and saying, “I have so many books.” On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man, sitting on the chair and saying, “I will read 20 books during a year.” Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that taking action can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the quality of taking action is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving and is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. What is more, in modern society full of changes,chances and challenges, action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
How can we put an end to the problem of lack of practice? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal. In reality, if we strengthen self-discipline, we can tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, lying on the chair and saying, “I have so many books.” On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man, sitting on the chair and saying, “I will read 20 books during a year.” Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that taking action can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你清晰地描述了图画内容,并准确地提炼出了“行动的重要性”这一核心寓意,开篇点题做得很好。
原文:e phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the quality of taking action is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving and is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. What is more, in modern society full of changes,chances and challenges, action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.
批改:本段从传统文化和现代社会两个角度论证,视野开阔,思路很好。特别是运用了“lose its luster”这样的生动表达,值得表扬!
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of lack of practice? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal. In reality, if we strengthen self-discipline, we can tackle the issue at its core.
批改:以设问句开头引出建议段,方式很巧妙。提出的“综合方案”和“强化自律”也是解决问题的正确方向。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17分
总评与修改建议
你这篇作文的亮点在于清晰的逻辑结构和敢于联系文化背景进行论证的思维。你已经在有意识地使用一些高级词汇和复杂句式
为了帮助你进一步提升,有个核心建议:
提升语言的简洁与地道:学习使用更精准的词汇(如用address代替put an end to the problem of)。平时多阅读、积累优秀范文中的地道表达。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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