考研英语一2011年大作文写作方向与示例

当你坐在考研英语一考场，面对2011年大作文题目的那一瞬间，是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章？本文这篇批改例文，正是考研英语一作文范文话题下的标准范本，适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is one person, rowing a boat, and two persons who are on the boat and going a trip, throwing rubbish to the river and using map. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that uncivilized travel is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, uncivilized travel is like a heavy load that harms our Environment and scenery,leaving them with a worse development. What’s more, Civilized travel holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

How can we put an end to the problem of uncivilizedtravel? It is suggested by many that we need apackage deal, including issue related laws and enhance supervision. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to strengthen the guiding role of the media in public opinion. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle

the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, there is one person, rowing a boat, and two persons who are on the boat and going a trip, throwing rubbish to the river and using map.

批改：首段描述画面内容，可以参考如下 “The illustration shows there is a couple sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish into the contaminated river.”

原文：persons

批改：正确写法为 people

原文：to readers

批改：可以删去

原文：uncivilized travel is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：结合画面内容给出了自己的观点，建议改为“旅途中的不文明行为（uncivilized behavior on the journey/trip）对个人和社会所产生的影响”或“节约资源（resources conservation）和保护环境（environmental protection）对个人和社会的作用”会更切题

原文：First and foremost, uncivilized travel is like a heavy load that harms our Environment and scenery,leaving them with a worse development.

批改：分析画面中不文明行为的危害，第一点可以从“环境污染（environmental pollution）”和“资源枯竭（resources depletion）”两方面结合具体的例子详细展开，如环境污染包括水污染、空气污染等，资源枯竭包括水资源、土地资源等

原文：Environment

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：and scenery

批改：可以删去

原文：leaving them with a worse development

批改：改为 contributing to air and water pollution

原文：What’s more, Civilized travel holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：第二点从文明行为对社会的益处进行分析，促进社会稳定和可持续发展，与前者进行正反对比，但未能论述不文明和文明行为对个人生活的影响或作用，建议从“节约资源和保护环境有利于改善人们的生活环境和身心健康”这一角度阐述

原文：Civilized

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：apackage

批改：改为 a package

原文：issue related laws and enhance supervision

批改：结尾可以从立法机关/监管部门制定相关法律法规；社会上进行宣传教育，形成全体节约资源、保护环境的氛围；个人养成绿色低碳理念意识和良好生活习惯等三个层面提出“怎么做”的一些措施

原文：issue related laws

批改：可以改为 forming a good habit / formulating laws and regulations

原文：enhance

批改：改为 enhancing

原文：In reality, we also need to strengthen the guiding role of the media in public opinion.

批改：这里还提到媒体的作用，属于社会宣传教育的范畴

原文：tackle the issue

批改：除了tackle，还可以用address/deal with/handle the issue

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

1）内容上：画面的描述可以更恰当，主干内容不够充实；

2）语言上：部分句子组织不是很顺畅，用词表达可以更丰富灵活；

3）结构上：运用了逻辑衔接词，进行了正反对比，观点论述不够全面；

4）学习建议：

这篇文章需要根据画面内容分析产生某个问题或现象的带来的影响以及怎么做，对此最好采用“是什么（给观点）-为什么（析原因&作用）-怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开论述。图中展现的核心主题是环境污染，那么观点可以从环境污染“对个人”、“对社会”、“对国家”等方面阐述带来的影响（或保护环境对个人、社会、国家的积极作用也是同理）：

1.对个人：堆砌生活垃圾；污染饮用水；浪费资源；危害人们的身心健康；

2.对社会：破坏社会稳定和可持续发展；

3.对国家：不利于全民综合素质的提升和社会主义精神文明建设。

文章做的好的部分是正反对比，还可以结合时事热点和具体的实例进行阐述，继续加油！

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