考研英语一2013年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2013年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there is a group of graduates , standing at the crossroad of life and facing four different choices such as seeking for a job , studying further, going abroading and starting a business, which make them confused. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is making choice correctly that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand , making choice correctly can provide direction and foundations

for our success, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful , rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, making correct choice holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength and international competitiveness, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

In brief, making choice correctly is the catalyst for so societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activey susupport and advocate this practice. Only by doing so: can wondful fufill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：hown in the picture, there is a group of graduates , standing at the crossroad of life and facing four different choices such as seeking for a job , studying further, going abroading and starting a business, which make them confused. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is making choice correctly that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：你开篇的描述非常生动，“at the crossroad of life”这个比喻用得很好。段尾使用强调句型点明主旨，结构清晰。

原文： crossro

批改：crossroad -> crossroads (“十字路口”的固定说法是 at a crossroads)

原文：going abroading and starting a business, which make them confused. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is making choice correctly that plays an important and positi

批改：going abroading -> studying abroad 或 going abroad (“abroad”是副词，没有“abroading”的形式) which make them confused -> , which makes them confused (这是一个非限制性定语从句，修饰前面整个情况，关系代词which指代单数概念，谓语动词应用单数)

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in serveral ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand , making choice correctly can provide direction and foundations for our success, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful , rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, making correct choice holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for boosting overall national strength and international competitiveness, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.

批改：本段采用“On the one hand... On the other hand...”的结构，从个人和国家两个层面论证，逻辑清晰，视野开阔。使用“crucial cornerstone”等词汇，体现了你丰富的词汇量。

原文：serveral w

批改：serveral -> several (拼写调整)

原文：making correct cho

批改：making correct choice -> making correct choices (注意名词复数)

原文：rief, making choice correctly is the catalyst for so societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activey susupport and advocate this practice. Only by doing so: can wondful fufill our aspirations and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

批改：结尾段总结有力，再次点明核心观点。“catalyst”（催化剂）这个词用得非常精准、高级。结尾句使用“Only by doing so can we...”的倒装句，体现了你对复杂句式的掌握

原文：for so societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should activey susupport and advocate this practice. Only by doing so: can wondful fufill our as

批改：for so societal -> for societal (删除多余的“so”) activey susupport -> actively support (拼写调整) Only by doing so: can wondful fufill -> Only by doing so can we fulfill (标点和拼写调整)

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议

同学，你这篇作文完成得相当不错！结构严谨，论证有力，特别是能熟练运用高级词汇和复杂句式，这些优点都非常突出。

为你提供几个小建议，希望能助你取得更高分数：

注重细节检查：请务必留出时间通读检查，重点关注拼写和固定搭配。这是避免不必要失分的关键一步。

追求论证深度：在提出“提供方向和基础”这样的论点时，可以稍作展开，用一句话解释其具体机制，让说理更充分。

保持语言优势：你使用“catalyst”, “cornerstone”等精准高级词汇的能力，以及对倒装句等复杂句式的掌握非常棒，请一定保持和发扬。

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