考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2011年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一大作文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two people sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish in a river, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment protection is an issue that requires great attention in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, neglecting environment protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. On the other hand, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root caues lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregardes the virtue of environment protection
How can we put an end to the problem of the environment protection? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, includling issuing related laws and enhancing supervision. But would these measures be comphensive enough? In reality, we also need to strenghten self-discipline. With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e are two people sitting on a boat and throwing rubbish in a river, which pollutes the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that environment protection is an issue that requires great attention in our personal lives and in society.
批改:第一段描述漫画比较中规中矩,内容详实丰富,主题鲜明,第一句有点Chinglish,但影响不大。
原文:aue
批改:cause 是可数名词,在没有定冠词和不定冠词的情况下,一般用复数哦, 建议用causes 如果用causes,lies就要用lie啦,要主谓一致
原文:ardes
批改:这里是现在完成时 have disregarded
原文:rotection
批改:后加句号
原文:ment
批改:environmental
原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, neglecting environment protection is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. On the other hand, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root caues lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregardes the virtue of environment protec
批改:第二段原因分析和现象理由比较多样,地道,贴合主题,句子用的比较符合语法规则,注意一些小错误哦
原文:nment
批改:environmental
原文:nment
批改:environmental
原文:cludlin
批改:including 一般不建议ing后面再有个ing形式,可以把including改为such as
原文:mphensiv
批改:comprehensive
原文:enghte
批改:strengthen
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
语法:语法上注意名词短语,要用adj来修饰名词哦,比如environmental protection,注意单复数形式
词汇:拼错的单词还是有的,要细心哦。
逻辑:整体逻辑可以的,读起来比较顺畅。
内容:三段结构可以的,字数和内容分配的很均衡,第二段分点写很有逻辑性。内容整体还是可以的,第二段范文句子和自己写的句子杂糅,使之成为自己的文章,这个悟性还是可以的。第一段可以试着改写一下句子哦。
未来可期,继续加油吧。
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