考研英语一2011年大作文真题与例文批改

2011年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语一作文真题常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there are a couple of tourists sitting on a boat while casually throwing rubbish into the river. The cartoon intends to convey to us that such irresponsible behavior is environmental damage.

The negative influences of this phenomenon are considerable, but two of them are of particular importance. On the one hand, it causes serious pollution to the river and disrupts the ecological balance for creatures. Consequently, the river loses its original beauty and vitality. On the other hand, littering everywhere is a bad habits. It not only hinders personal growth but also acts like a heavy chain dragging down social progress. Moreover, it reveals a lack of environmental education , and the government should sound the alarm.

In conclusion, environmental protection serves as a catalyst for economic and social development. We are supposed to advocate and promote it , particularly through education in schools and children. We should fully aware of the importance of environmental preservation, ensuring our efforts stay on the course.

三、考研英语作文批改

批改：语法正确

原文：to us

批改：可省略

原文： is

批改：改为 causes， 语义上更合适

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确

原文：habits

批改：前面有冠词a, 此处为可数名词的单数形式，改为 habit

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确

批改：内容表达很好，句式和词汇表达也不错

批改：语法正确

原文：through education in schools and children

批改：介词使用不当。"education in children" 听起来像是“在孩子们内部进行的教育”，逻辑不通。教育是“给”孩子们的。 应改为 through education in schools and among children。

原文：fully aware of

批改：缺少动词。aware 是形容词，不能直接跟在情态动词 should 后面，此处要加上系动词 be，即 be fully aware of...

原文：the

批改：删去，on course 是一个固定搭配，意思是“在正确的轨道上”，中间不需要加冠词 the

原文：advocate

批改：动词 advocate 作为及物动词时，后面通常接主张或政策（如 advocate change），当后面接代词的“它”（指代一个理念）时，更常见的用法是 advocate for it， 此处改为 advocate for

批改：内容表达不错，多注意语法问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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