本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2019年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the various choices of graduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018. In 2013,the proportion of employment
was 68.1%, but by 2018, this figure had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of futher study and owning one"s business experienced an increase of 7.7% and 1.3%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of the changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound educational system, enabling an increasing number of students to have ample opportunities for further study. What is more, as the saying goes, “on life"s stage, preasure is always present. "Nowadays, more and more university students are forced to confront immense employment preassure, as a result, owning their business has emerged as an alternative choice. Considering these factors, the phenomenon depicted in the chart is unsurprising.
What about the future trends? I"m confident that the proportion of employment will likely continue to decrease. In contrast, the proportion of further study and owning one"s business will continue to increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: bar chart clearly depicts the various choices of graduates at a certain university in 2013 and 2018. In 2013,the proportion of employment was 68.1%, but by 2018, this figure had substantially decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of futher study and owning one"s business experienced an increase of 7.7% and 1.3%, respectively.
批改:你成功描述了图表的核心数据,要点齐全
原文:futher study
批改:futher study -> further study。注意拼写
原文:tion of futher study and owning one"s busin
批改:the proportions for further study and entrepreneurship。为了使并列结构更平衡、正式,建议使用“proportions for...”并将“owning one"s business”替换为更地道的“entrepreneurship”(创业)或“starting a business”。
原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of the changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound educational system, enabling an increasing number of students to have ample opportunities for further study. What is more, as the saying goes, “on life"s stage, preasure is always present. "Nowadays, more and more university students are forced to confront immense employment preassure, as a result, owning their business has emerged as an alternative choice. Considering these factors, the phenomenon depicted in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:你分析出的两个原因——政策支持和就业压力——都非常切题,体现了很好的思考
原文:preasure is
批改:preasure -> pressure。注意拼写
原文:t about the future trends? I"m confident that the proportion of employment will likely continue to decrease. In contrast, the proportion of further study and owning one"s business will continue to increase in the following decades.
批改:预测合理,对比清晰。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12
你的这篇作文结构清晰,数据抓取准确,原因分析合理。
总评与修改建议:
这篇作文最显著的优点是严谨的结构和对数据趋势的敏感度。你能迅速把握核心信息,并组织起有效的分析框架。
在图表作文中,有意识地使用更具体、专业的词汇来替代通用词。比如,用“graduates entering the workforce”和“entrepreneurship”来精准描述选项。
保持论述的客观性:在分析原因时,可以尝试更直接、平实的表述。例如,将华丽的比喻改为对事实的陈述(如政府完善教育体系),这更符合图表作文的文体要求。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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