启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2015年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语二真题备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage break down of various expenses during the Spring Festival among residents in a certain city. New Year gifts takes the lead at 40%, followed by transportation at 20%. In addition, factors such as gathering and dining and other expenses are also considered, at 20% respectively.
The core reasons for the phenomenon observed can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high speed development of society, more and more people are no longer content with mere material enjoyment, they also pursue mental and emotional satisfaction, this explains why they prefer to spend money in buying New Year gifts which will brings them enormous pressure. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound transportation system, enabling residents have ample opportunities for traveling during the Spring Festival. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the pie chart is unsurprising.
What about the future trends? I"m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the chages in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:break down of v
批改:拼写错误:break down 作为名词使用时,应写为一个单词 breakdown。
原文:New Year gifts
批改:主谓不一致与专有名词: 主语 gifts 是复数,谓语动词 takes 应改为 take。 New Year gifts 应改为所有格形式 New Year"s gifts。
原文:0%. In addition, factors such as gathering and dining and other expenses are also considered, at 20% respectiv
批改:用词与逻辑问题: factors... are considered(因素被考虑)不准确,图表展示的是实际开支。 gathering and dining 意思重叠,通常合并为 dining gatherings(聚餐)即可。 and other expenses 前面的 and 导致列表混乱。 respectively(分别地)使用不当,因为它通常用于说明多个项目与多个数据的——对应关系。这里只有一个20%,却对应多项开支。
原文:e percentage break down of various expenses during the Spring Festival among residents in a certain city. New Year gifts takes the lead at 40%, followed by transportation at 20%. In addition, factors such as gathering and dining and other expenses are also considered, at 20% respectively
批改:本段成功抓住了图表的核心信息。主要问题在于拼写、主谓一致、专有名词以及逻辑副词的使用。图表描述需要最高级别的精确。
原文:ursue mental and e
批改:严重逻辑矛盾 & 语法错误: 逻辑矛盾:这是本段最核心的问题。你提出人们追求“精神和情感满足”,但结论却是购买礼物会带来“巨大压力”。这个结论与你的论点完全相反,并且与图表想表达的“礼物是主要开支”这一事实相悖。这会严重破坏论证的说服力。 串句错误:这是一个“串句”,用逗号连接了三个完整的句子。 语法错误:which will brings 中,情态动词 will 后应接动词原形 bring。
原文:enabling residen
批改:语法错误:enable sb. to do sth. 是固定搭配,此处缺少 to,应为 enabling residents to have...
原文:s for the phenomenon observed can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high speed development of society, more and more people are no longer content with mere material enjoyment, they also pursue mental and emotional satisfaction, this explains why they prefer to spend money in buying New Year gifts which will brings them enormous pressure. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound transportation system, enabling residents have ample opportunities for traveling during the Spring Festival. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the pie chart is unsurprisi
批改:本段试图提供两个论点,但第一个论点内部出现了严重的逻辑自相矛盾,这是论证的大忌。第二个论点的表达风格不合适。你需要确保论据本身是合理的,并且能有力地支持你的观点
原文:e chages
批改:拼写错误:chages 应为 changes。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
总评:
同学,你的作文结构意识很强。但这篇作文在论证的逻辑严谨性上出现了比较严重的问题,尤其是论据与结论自相矛盾,这比语法错误更影响得分。同时,一些华而不实的表达依然存在。
修改建议:
确保逻辑自洽:这是当前最紧迫的任务。在提出任何一个理由时,请务必确保其推导出的结论是支持而非否定你的观点的。例如,关于“精神满足”,应推导出“礼物是传递情感的载体”,从而解释其高开支。
夯实语法基础:请巩固 enable sb. to do sth. 这类固定搭配,并注意串句问题。
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