作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2024年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二写作技巧常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2024年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2024年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of main advantage of practical lesson among students at a certain university. Learning relevant knowledge takes the lead at 91.3%, followed by improving practical ability at 84.3%, Aditionally, factors such as feeling better, and improving cooperative ability are also considered, accounting for 54.4%, and 32.6%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summanized as follows. To start with, a increasing number of university students believe that in modem society fall of changes, challenges, and chances, knowledge and practical ability are indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, “on life"s stage, pressure is always present" .Nowadays, university students are compelled to contront immense academic pressure and as a result, feeling better has emerged as their main purpose for having practical lesson.
What about future trends? I am contident that the above statistical figures, accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, and will likely remain relatively in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e percentage br
批改:the percentage breakdown of main advantage -> the distribution of the main advantages (“优势”应为复数“advantages”,且“distribution”比“percentage breakdown”更常用、准确)
原文:lesson
批改:practical lesson -> practical lessons (“课”在此语境中应为可数名词复数)
原文: Aditionally,
批改:Aditionally -> Additionally (拼写错误,少了一个“d”)
原文: bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of main advantage of practical lesson among students at a certain university. Learning relevant knowledge takes the lead at 91.3%, followed by improving practical ability at 84.3%, Aditionally, factors such as feeling better, and improving cooperative ability are also considered, accounting for 54.4%, and 32.6%, respectively.
批改:本段准确地列出了所有数据,很好地完成了图表描述的核心任务
原文:e summanized as follows. To start with, a increasing
批改:summanized -> summarized (拼写错误) a increasing -> an increasing (元音音素开头的前面用“an”)
原文:modem societ
批改:modem society -> modern society (拼写错误)
原文:fall of
批改:fall of -> full of (拼写错误,意为“充满”)
原文: contront
批改:contront -> confront (拼写错误)
原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summanized as follows. To start with, a increasing number of university students believe that in modem society fall of changes, challenges, and chances, knowledge and practical ability are indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as the saying goes, “on life"s stage, pressure is always present" .Nowadays, university students are compelled to contront immense academic pressure and as a result, feeling better has emerged as their main purpose for having practical lesson.
批改:本段从“追求成功”和“应对压力”两个角度分析原因,思路是好的。但第二个理由的逻辑衔接可以更紧密:为什么实践课能“feel better”?如果能点明实践课提供了“放松”或“应用知识而非死记硬背”的机会,说服力会更强。同时,本段出现了一些影响理解的拼写错误。
原文: contident t
批改:contident -> confident (拼写错误)
原文: will likely remain
批改:will likely remain relatively -> will likely remain relatively stable (缺少表语形容词,“relatively”是副词,不能单独作表语,必须加上“stable”等形容词)
原文:t about future trends? I am contident that the above statistical figures, accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of university students, and will likely remain relatively in the following decades.
批改:结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分
总评:
同学,你好!这篇作文的结构非常清晰,数据呈现完整,并且能够围绕主题展开分析,这些都做得很好!
1. 语言方面:
你的主要问题在于词汇拼写的正确性。文中出现了多处拼写错误(如Aditionally, summanized, modem, contident),记住,“准确”是高分的第一步。
2. 结构方面:
三段式的框架很稳妥。在内容上,可以进一步提升论述的深度和逻辑性。例如,在解释“缓解压力”时,可以简单说明实践课如何通过动手操作、团队合作等方式带来与传统理论课不同的、更轻松的体验。这样,你的分析就不会浮于表面。
总的修改建议:
攻克拼写与用词:在写作和检查时,请特别关注高频词汇(如modern, summarize, confident)和图表作文核心术语的拼写。尝试用更具体、书面的词汇(如用relieving stress替代feeling better)
深化论点:在提出一个原因后,多问自己一句“然后呢?”或“具体是怎么实现的?”,用一句话把中间的逻辑补充完整,你的论证就会更有力。
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