正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2021年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文话题的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing BeiJing opera costume and sadly saying "Dad, many classmates thought learning BeiJing opera didn’t have much fun”, while his father replys: if you love doing so, then it"s enough. Evidently, the cartoonist, intends to convey to readers that it is hobby and love that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, hobbies can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What"s more, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the traditional Chinese culture such as BeiJing opera is one that should never lose its luster, as it"s an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.
In brief, hobbies and love for Chinese traditional culture is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:hown in the cartoon, there is a boy wearing BeiJing opera costume and sadly saying "Dad, many classmates thought learning BeiJing opera didn’t have much fun”, while his father replys: if you love doing so, then it"s enough. Evidently, the cartoonist, intends to convey to readers that it is hobby and love that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:开篇段成功描绘了漫画场景并点明了主旨
原文:BeiJing opera costume and sadly saying "Dad, many classmates thought learning BeiJing opera di
批改:BeiJing opera 作为专有名词,更规范的写法是 Beijing Opera。 replys 拼写错误,第三人称单数形式应为 replies。
原文: it is hobby and love that play
批改:it is hobby and love that... 中,hobby and love 是复数概念,系动词应使用 are。
原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, hobbies can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What"s more, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated, the traditional Chinese culture such as BeiJing opera is one that should never lose its luster, as it"s an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.
批改:第一个论点从“个人”角度论述兴趣对灵魂和成长的滋养,逻辑清晰。 第二个论点从“国家/文化”层面切入,指出传统文化是民族延续的纽带,立意高远,是文章的亮点。 两个论点之间的内在联系可以稍作强化,让过渡更自然。例如,可以点明“对诸如京剧这类传统文化的热爱,正是将个人兴趣与文化传承完美结合的典范”。
原文: BeiJing opera is one that should never lose its luster, as it"s an essential bond that keeps the Chi
批改:BeiJing opera 建议规范为 Beijing Opera。 it"s 在此处是 it is 的缩写,但这里需要一个物主代词 its。
原文:ies and love for Chinese trad
批改:主语 hobbies and love... 是复数,谓语动词应使用 are
原文:ef, hobbies and love for Chinese traditional culture is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
批改:结尾句非常精彩
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
主要优点:
结构严谨:文章框架清晰,段落功能明确。
立意深刻:能够从个人兴趣联想到文化传承,并将二者有机结合,论证有高度和家国情怀。
语言流畅且有亮点:能够使用 nurture our souls, self-fulfillment, lose its luster, catalyst 等高级词汇,结尾句也极具文采。
核心提升点:
当前的主要提升空间在于:
语法与拼写的精确性:需要注意主谓一致、代词所有格等细节,确保语言规范。
逻辑的严密性:确保段落内部及段落之间的逻辑衔接丝丝入扣,总结段精准回扣全文核心。
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