考研英语一2011年大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture,there are two people,sitting on the boat and enjoying landscape,with littering into the lake.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that lack of environmental protection is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,neglecting environmental protection can harm relationships ,erode trust and respect,and cause the loss of opportunities and resources.It can also damage personal image and reputation,leading to exclusion and failure in work and social situations.On the other hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the virtue of environmental protection is one that should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people.

How can we put an end to the problem of neglecting environmental protection?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal,including issue related laws and strengthen the guiding role of the media in public opinion.But would these measures be comprehensive enough?In reality,we also need to foster the virtue of environmental protection deliberately and strengthen self-discipline.With the support of these measures,we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： lack of

批改：此处搭配不合适，应该是环保意识的缺乏，不能直接说环保的缺乏，可改为 neglecting

原文：landscape

批改：此处需要加 the, 改为 the landscape

原文：and

批改：改为逗号

原文：with

批改：改为 and, 与前面两个 doing 形式并列

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确，表达也很好

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：issue

批改：including 是介词，后面要用动词的ing形式，改为 issuing

原文： strengthen

批改：改为 strengthening

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，试着多用自己的话来写，总的来说写的不错，加油！

对2011年考研英语一大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。