考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一作文真题核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

第三部分;写作A节

61 In the left picture, there is the man watching TV and asking his son to study hard. on the contrary, in the right picture, there is the man studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to us that is making a good model that plays an important role in our lives and society.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, modern society is full of changes, chances and challenges, and making a good model in family is the key to fulfill children"s aspiration and propel ourself development. Also it is the carnerstone for boosting overall national strength. On the other hand, neglecting this aspect will hinder children"s progress, not only depriving our ability to study but also making us with a negative outlook on life.

Therefore, making a good model is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Only in this way can we make our world share with brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he left picture, there is the man watching TV and asking his son to study hard. on the contrary, in the right picture, there is the man studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to us that is making a good model that plays an important role in our lives and society

批改：段成功描述了两幅图的对比，并点出了漫画的寓意

原文：e phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, modern society is full of changes, chances and challenges, and making a good model in family is the key to fulfill children"s aspiration and propel ourself development. Also it is the carnerstone for boosting overall national strength. On the other hand, neglecting this aspect will hinder children"s progress, not only depriving our ability to study but also making us with a negative outlook on life.

批改：本段从正反两个方面展开，结构清晰。

原文：fore, making a good model is the catalyst for society and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Only in this way can we make our world share with brillia

批改： 结论段再次点题，并使用了倒装句，结尾有力。

原文： propel ours

批改：propel ourself development-> propel our own development（“我们自己”是our own；“ourself”是错误形式）。 carnerstone-> cornerstone（拼写修正）。 Also it is-> Also, it is（副词后加逗号）。

原文：here is the man st

批改：there is the man-> we see a man（使用“a man”更符合英语习惯，“we see”比“there is”描述画面更生动）。 on the contrary-> 句首字母应大写 On the contrary。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议：

同学，你的作文审题准确，结构完整，这是写好作文的重要基础！特别是正反对比的论证思路，值得肯定。

当前的主要提升点在于语言的准确性和论证的深度：

夯实语法和搭配：请特别注意固定搭配（如deprive sb. of sth.）、代词的使用（our own）和拼写（cornerstone）。完成写作后快速检查一遍，能有效避免这些小失误。

深化论点阐述：在提出一个分论点后，可以尝试用一两句话解释一下它为什么成立，让论证更充分。例如，可以简要说明“好榜样”具体是如何“实现孩子抱负”的。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一作文真题常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。