2013年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语一写作冲刺常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduates, standing on the road and readying to make a choice, which is about their future, such as applying for a job and going abroad. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that more and more choices are provided for graduates when they finish school.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. What"s more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, graduates" attitudes towards life value have undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of graduates choose to continue to study rather than apply for a job.
Therefore, this is a pervasive social phenomenon, which can have a profound influence on the development of graduates. When facing this phenomenon, we need to encourage students to make a decision which they really like. Only in this way can we inspire their potential.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:s shown in the cartoon, there is a group of graduates, standing on the road and readying to make a choice, which is about their future, such as applying for a job and going abroad. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that more and more choices are provided for graduates when they finish school.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:education
批改:这句话没说完,后加上system或environment
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for further education. What"s more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, graduates" attitudes towards life value have undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing number of graduates choose to continue to study rather than apply for a job.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:Therefore, this is a pervasive social phenomenon, which can have a profound influence on the development of graduates. When facing this phenomenon, we need to encourage students to make a decision which they really like. Only in this way can we inspire their potential.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
内容切题,全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,无拼写错误;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬,继续加油。
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