本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2024年考研英语二大作文批改资料,对照考研英语作文万能句型写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开,本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。
一、2024年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2024年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of core results of labor practice lessons at a certain senior high school. Practicing liability takes the lead at a 84.8 %, followed by studing relative knowledge at 91.3%. Additionally , factors such as cooperating liability and enjoying happiness are also considered , accounting for 32.6 % and 54.4 %,respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows . To start with ,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes , our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system , enabling students to have ample opportunities for practicing and studying. In addition ,an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes , challenges , and chances , cooperating and spiriting is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors , the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising .
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ore results
批改: (核心结果) 不准确,图表主题是“主要收获 (main gains)”,即学生从课程中的获益
原文:racticing liability takes the lead at a
批改:liability 意为“责任、债务”,此处应为 practical ability (实践能力)。冠词 a 多余,应为 at 84.8%
原文:studing
批改:studing → studying
原文:4.8 %, followed by studing relative knowledge at 91.3%
批改:数据顺序颠倒,改为 “acquiring relevant knowledge ranks the highest at 91.3%, followed by ... at 84.8%”(按数据从高到低排序,符合图表描述逻辑)
原文:ooperating liability
批改:cooperating liability → cooperative ability
批改:本段虽然识别了四个类别,但数据排序描述错误,且存在多处拼写和用词问题
原文:our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system , enabling students to have ample opportunities for practicing and studyin
批改:直接简化为 “the government has strengthened labor education by improving the relevant education system”(聚焦政策核心,表达简洁有力) “enabling students to gain sufficient practical experience and theoretical knowledge”(“practical experience” 与 “theoretical knowledge” 对应图表 “实践” 与 “知识” 维度,搭配更精准)
原文: cooperating and spiriting
批改:“cooperating and spiriting” 改为 “teamwork and a positive work ethic are”(“spiriting” 为错误表达,结合劳动教育目标优化为 “积极劳动态度”)
批改:该段论证方向贴合劳动教育政策与社会需求,但存在修辞冗余、词汇表达错误和论证不够具体的问题。需修正基础语言错误,简化冗余表达,结合政策背景强化原因与主题的关联性,契合 “论证充分、逻辑紧密” 的评分标准。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of students, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:本段功能完整,但内容比较空洞
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15 分
本文覆盖“描述阐释图表 + 评论”两大核心任务,采用经典三段式结构,主旨明确,论证方向贴合劳动教育政策背景。主要扣分点集中在:① 核心词汇拼写与搭配错误(如 “studing”“spiriting”);② 图表描述数据逻辑颠倒、内涵解读不足;③ 部分表达生硬模板化,和主旨的关联性不强;④ 结尾比较模板化,不太有针对性。总体而言,文章框架符合要求,需重点强化语言规范性、数据解读和评论深度,即可显著提升得分。
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