考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2021年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二作文范文话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the different ways of exercise among residents in a certain city. Exercising by oneself takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and team activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conduct orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound exercise support system, enabling our citizens to enjoy complete sports facilities with their friends and family. Also, the advanced sports facilities can serve for team activities. In addition, as the saying goes, "on life"s stage, pressure is always present". Nowadays, the younger generation are compelled to confront immense life pressure and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing less leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above - mentioned statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the different ways of exercise among residents in a certain city. Exercising by oneself takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and team activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:conduct
批改:conductor
原文: less
批改:删除
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conduct orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound exercise support system, enabling our citizens to enjoy complete sports facilities with their friends and family. Also, the advanced sports facilities can serve for team activities. In addition, as the saying goes, "on life"s stage, pressure is always present". Nowadays, the younger generation are compelled to confront immense life pressure and as a result, exercising alone has emerged as their primary choice for utilizing less leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the above - mentioned statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
语法:语言表达和语法基础上,进步的空间还很大。比如本次作文中出现多次的单词拼写错误等问题,会很拉低你的平均分。另外还需要注意一些基础的语法问题和表达搭配问题,有时间好好看看文中的批改,细心吸收,争取在接下来的练习中避免类似的错误。
首段总体概括图表主题,呈现各锻炼方式的占比数据,突出独自锻炼占比最高这一核心特征。第二段原因分析,可从现代生活节奏快、个人时间安排灵活、社交网络有限等角度展开。第三段可结合当前趋势,合理推测未来锻炼方式的发展方向,如独自锻炼可能持续流行,同时建议增加家庭和团体锻炼以促进社交与健康。
文章整体来说,主要是细节错误较多,大问题比较少,后续练习注重细节,继续加油!
如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语二作文范文高分资料礼包。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考