2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

据启航教育英语教研组统计，考研英语作文批改话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2021年考研英语二批改例文中，考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达，获得高分，其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the exercise model of certain city residents. Personal exercising takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising Personal with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and organized activities are also considered accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the appear of social medium and communicate app have impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s be haviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have tended to exercising alone or playing with friends. People perfer to keep alone and neglect family. In addition in the wake of the high-speed advancement of arcdetneglectdle"s attitudes towards of exercising have undergone significant changes: they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. It takes eaily to exercise with friends. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and fruthfully reflect the choice of Chinese people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the exercise model of certain city residents. Personal exercising takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising Personal with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercising with family and organized activities are also considered acco

批改：① 拼写 / 表达错误，“exercising Personal with friends” 语序颠倒且大写不当，应改为 “exercising with friends”（删除多余 “Personal”，保持表达连贯）；② 搭配不当，“exercise model” 表达不地道，建议改为 “physical exercise methods”（“运动方式” 考研常用搭配）；“factors such as exercising with family”，“运动方式” 并非 “因素”，建议改为 “other ways including exercising with family”（“other ways” 衔接前文，逻辑通顺）

批改：本段基本完成了数据描述的任务，涵盖了所有四种锻炼方式及其数据，但是要注意一些细节错误

原文： appear of social medium and communicate app

批改：“the appear of” 中 “appear” 为动词，应改为 “the emergence of”（“the emergence of” 表 “…… 的出现”，名词短语作主语）；“communicate app” 应为 “communication apps”（“communication” 作定语修饰 “apps”，且 “app” 为可数名词，用复数）

原文：have impacted

批改：谓语应为 has impacted，主语是the emergence

原文：have tended to exercising alone or playing with friends

批改：“have tended to exercising” 中 “to” 为不定式符号，后接动词原形，改为 “have tended to exercise”

原文：perfer to keep alone and neglect family

批改：拼写错误 (perfer → prefer) 且观点不大合逻辑。

原文：of arcdetneglectdle"s attitudes towards of exercising hav

批改：此句存在拼写错误和结构混乱，导致含义无法理解。arcdetneglectdle 可能为 people"s 或 society"s 的误写。towards of 介词重复。

原文：eaily to exercise with friends.

批改：eaily 拼写错误，应为 easily。此句与前文逻辑断裂。

批改：尝试完成 “分析现象原因” 的任务，但存在①语法错误（词性误用、固定句型错误）；②拼写错误、表达不地道；③个别句子逻辑脱节，模板化表达的问题，与论证的联系不够紧密

批改：本段对未来趋势做出了判断。无功无过，但是也可以稍微摆脱模板化，让其更有针对性一点。

原文：fruthfully

批改：拼写错误，fruthfully 应为 truthfully

原文：choice

批改：名词单复数错误，应为 choices

原文：of the high-speed advancement of arcdetneglectdle"s attitudes towards of exercising have undergone significant changes: they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.

批改：这一句感觉和你的论点关系不是特别紧密，可以删去或者调整一下

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15分

本文结构完整，并能够描述图表中的主要数据，这是值得肯定的基础。然而，文章在内容的深度和语言的准确性上存在优化空间。第二段，原因分析部分表述未能建立起与图表数据的有效逻辑关联，且语言表达层面出现了基础错误，如拼写、词性和基本句法错误，这使得论证难以有效展开。此外，结尾段也存在细节错误。建议优先改正语法和拼写等基础问题，然后优化部分表述和逻辑，这样作文可以达到10-12分。

复习考研英语大作文，务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，专为冲刺阶段考生打造，从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全，是考研英语作文批改写作提分的可靠方案。