2021年考研英语一大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2021年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一作文范文高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there be a boy saying that substantial classmate believe that the songing is not popularity, while their dad believe that only you like it. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that confidence is the brush that paints a bright future, while lacking of confidence is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, confidence can stimulate our creativity, and promote personal growth and felf-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. what is more, confidence brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers, Its core driving force stems from teenagers" desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.

In brief, confidence is the catalyst for societal and personal developenent, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality we should actively promote and carry for ward traditional culture; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of confidence to ensure our growth stay on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： shown in the picture, there be a boy saying that substantial classmate believe that the songing is not popularity, while their dad believe that only you like it. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that confidence is the brush that paints a bright future, while lacking of confidence is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：你成功地从图画中提炼出了“自信”与“缺乏自信”的对比，并且用“brush”和“shackle”这样生动的比喻来点明主旨，非常精彩！这是全文最大的亮点。

原文：ere be a bo

批改：...there be a boy... 这是中文思维直译带来的错误。地道的英文表达是 there is a boy...

原文：ubstantial clas

批改：substantial 多指数量或程度“巨大”，修饰同学不太贴切。想表达“很多同学”，可以用 many classmates。 classmate 是可数名词，这里应用复数 classmates。

原文：onging is not p

批改：“唱歌”应为动名词 singing。 “不受欢迎”应该用形容词 popular，所以是 is not popular。

原文：lacking of confid

批改：Lack 既可以作名词也可以作动词。作名词时，直接说 the lack of confidence；作动词时，是 lacking confidence（没有of）。

原文：is phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, confidence can stimulate our creativity, and promote personal growth and felf-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. what is more, confidence brings numerous benefits to the growth of teenagers, Its core driving force stems from teenagers" desire to step out of their comfort zones, embrace a broader future, and gain recognition from others.

批改：本段从个人价值实现和青少年成长两个层面展开，论证角度选得很好。特别是第二个论点，思考很有深度。

原文：elf-fulfillment,

批改：...felf-fulfillment... 这是一个拼写错误，正确的拼写是 self-fulfillment。

原文：confidence brings num

批改：这里有一个严重的句子错误（逗号拼接）。逗号不能连接两个完整的句子。建议修改为： ...teenagers. Its core driving force... （用句号断开） ...teenagers, and its core driving force... （用逗号和连词连接）

原文：brief, confidence is the catalyst for societal and personal developenent, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality we should actively promote and carry for ward traditional culture; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of confidence to ensure our growth stay on course.

批改：结尾段再次点题，并提出了倡议，结构完整

原文： developenent,

批改：...developenent... 拼写错误，应为 development。

原文：we must be acutely aw

批改：...we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of confidence... 这是一个严重的逻辑错误。全文都在论证自信的好处，这里却说“必须警惕自信的危害”，这与你的中心论点完全矛盾。你想表达的应该是“缺乏自信的危害”，所以应改为 the detrimental effects of a lack of confidence。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

评分理由：

你的作文具备了清晰的框架和深刻的中心思想，并且能使用高级词汇和复杂句式，这展现了你的潜力。主要的失分点在于：

贯穿全文的语法和拼写错误。

第二段部分句子的逻辑衔接不够紧密。

结尾段出现了严重的逻辑矛盾和信息冗余，这对整体得分影响较大。

我给你的建议是：

建立“结尾检查”习惯：在写完结尾段后，务必停下来，把它和你的中心论点、文章标题（如果有）对照一下，确保它们说的是同一件事，观点没有前后矛盾。这是避免严重失分的关键一步。

理清句子逻辑：在写一个长句子，尤其是用逗号连接时，有意识地想一想前后两部分的逻辑关系是否紧密。如果关系松散，果断用句号断开。

巩固基础词汇：对于 there be, he/his，以及 popular 这类最基础的词汇和语法点，要通过多读多练形成肌肉记忆，这样在考试紧张的情况下也能准确使用。

本文展示的2021年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一作文范文的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。