进入冲刺阶段,每一份考研英语写作技巧写作资料都弥足珍贵。本文整理的2023年考研英语二批改范例,由启航教育写作主讲亲自精批,已标注高分句型与失分雷区。无论你是考研英语二一还是考研英语二二考生,都能从中找到提分灵感。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts the health literacy of the residents in our country from 2012 to 2021. In the 2012, the percentage of the health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2016, the rate had gradually risen to 11.58%. In contrast, the proportion of the health literacy experienced a significant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
The core reasons of the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges and chances, physical fitness is indispensable if you wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started playing more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of the health literacy is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:the
批改:冠词错误。年份前通常不加定冠词,应为 In 2012...
原文:entage of the health literacy
批改:健康素养水平”本身就是一个百分比概念,通常直接说 the health literacy rate 或 the proportion of citizens with health literacy。
原文:The line chart clearly depicts the health literacy of the residents in our country from 2012 to 2021. In the 2012, the percentage of the health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2016, the rate had gradually risen to 11.58%. In contrast, the proportion of the health literacy experienced a significant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
批改:本段基本完成了数据描述的任务,涵盖了三个时间点的数据。但存在用词不准确的问题
原文:of th
批改:应为 “core reasons for”(“reason for sth.” 为固定搭配,表 “某事的原因”)
原文:ble if you wish to achieve success in the long run. In add
批改:前文用 “an increasing number of people”(第三人称),后文突然切换为 “you wish to achieve”(第二人称),改为 “they wish to achieve”(保持人称一致,语法规范)
原文:playing more attention to
批改: “paying more attention to”
批改:该段完成 “分析现象原因” 的核心任务,从个人认知和疫情影响两方面展开,方向贴合实际。但存在固定搭配错误、人称不一致、拼写错误的问题,论证与 “健康素养” 的直接关联需强化。
批改:本段功能完整,对未来趋势做出了积极的判断。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15分
总评:
本文结构完整,清晰地描述了数据趋势,并提出了两个相关且合理的论点来解释健康素养提升的现象,显示出良好的审题和构思能力。文章的主要优化空间在于两个方面:首先,第一段出现了表述不准确的情况,这对图表描述的准确性造成了影响;其次,全文在介词搭配、动词短语和人称指代等语言细节上存在一些需要修正的地方。通过在细节上更求精进,文章的整体质量将得到进一步提升。
专业批改是考研英语写作提分直接有效的方式之一。启航教育提供由资深讲师亲批的免费批改服务,针对考研英语二大作文逐句逐段给出修改建议。完成本文精读之后,欢迎将你的作文提交给启航教育,享受考研英语写作技巧高分批改。
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