本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2019年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depict the destination of undergraduate in 2013 and 2018 of ABC university.In 2013 the percentage of working was 68.1%but by 2018 this rate had substantialy decreased to 60.7%.In contrast the proportion of further education experience a significant increase of 7.7% during the same time simultaneously the percentage of having ones own corporation remains stable and steady.
The core reasons of the observe phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as conductor of orchestraing the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system,enabling university students to having an opportunities for the further education.In addition to,as the saying goes competition is always present.Nowadays further education has becone a significant choice for university students to relieve their pressure of entering society.Considering these factors ,in chart the depict phenomenon is unsurprising.
What about future trends i confident believe that the further education is a clear social improvement and will likely increase at the following decades.In contrast,having ones own cooperation will likely remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:ine chart clearly depict the destination of undergraduate in 2013 and 2018 of ABC university.In 2013 the percentage of working was 68.1%but by 2018 this rate had substantialy decreased to 60.7%.In contrast the proportion of further education experience a significant increase of 7.7% during the same time simultaneously the percentage of having ones own corporation remains stable and steady.
批改: 本段成功抓住了图表中的核心变化趋势
原文:y depict the destination of undergraduate in 2013 and 2018 of ABC university.In 2013 the percentage of working was 68.1%but by 2018 this rate had substantialy decreased to 60.7%.In contrast
批改:depict-> depicts(主语 The line chart是单数,谓语动词应用第三人称单数)。 undergraduate-> undergraduates(“本科生”通常用复数形式指群体)。 substantialy-> substantially(拼写修正)。
原文:e core reasons of the observe phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as conductor of orchestraing the symphony of changes,our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound education system,enabling university students to having an opportunities for the further education.In addition to,as the saying goes competition is always present.Nowadays further education has becone a significant choice for university students to relieve their pressure of entering society.Considering these factors ,in chart the depict phenomenon is unsurprising.
批改:本段从两个宏观角度分析原因,思路很好。特别是“政府作为变革交响乐指挥”的比喻非常新颖
原文: reasons of the observ
批改:reasons of-> reasons for(固定搭配)。 observe phenomenon-> observed phenomenon(“观察到的现象”,observed是过去分词作定语)。 orchestraing-> orchestrating(拼写修正)。
原文: to having an opportunities for the further education.In addition to,as the saying goes competition is always present.Nowadays further education has becone a signifi
批改:to having an opportunities-> to have opportunities(enable sb. to do sth.是固定搭配;opportunity在此为泛指,用复数或单数均可,但前面冠词要一致,an opportunity或 opportunities)。 In addition to-> In addition(In addition to后需接名词,In addition后可接句子)。 has becone-> has become(拼写修正)。 in chart the depict phenomenon-> the phenomenon depicted in the chart(语序调整,表达更自然)。
原文:out future trends i confident believe that the further education is a clear social improvement and will likely increase at the following decades.In contrast,having ones own cooperation will likely remain relatively stable.
批改:本段对未来趋势做出了预测
原文:i confident believe that
批改:i confident believe-> I am confident that或 I confidently believe(缺少be动词或副词形式)。 at the following decades-> in the following decades(固定搭配 in the following decades)。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
总评与建议:
同学,你的作文结构完整,要点齐全,并且能够运用比喻等修辞手法,这非常值得鼓励!当前的提升关键在于增强语言的准确性和论述的针对性。
仔细检查语法与拼写:请特别注意主谓一致、动词时态、固定搭配和常见词汇的拼写。完成写作后,花几分钟快速检查,能有效提升文章的规范性。
让分析紧扣数据:在分析原因时,可以更紧密地结合图表中最突出的现象(即“深造比例上升”),思考“政府政策”和“社会竞争”是如何具体导致这一变化的,让论证更具针对性。
充实段落内容:在提出观点(如对未来的预测)后,尝试补充一句简单的理由,使内容更丰满,逻辑更严谨。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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