2013年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2013年考研英语二高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语二作文真题高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar graph clearly describes a part-time job situation in a college.As we can see,the proportions of the college part-time job students are all above 67%,even to the highest 88.24%.And totally say,the proportion of the undergraduate who participate in part-time job exhibit a rising trend from freshman to the grade 4 students.

So from the data depicts the college students part-time job condition,we could conclude that the undergraduates have a high ethusiasm in doing part-time job and they take efforts in gathering work experience as well developing ability.Then,what can infered from the rising tendency from grade1 to 4 is that the senior class students show more attention to job seeking so they have more demand in doing part-timr job to develop themselves.

Therefore,our college students probably have a definate career planning and they prepare a lot to meet the future challenges and opportunity.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e bar graph clearly describes a part-time job situation in a college.As we can see,the proportions of the college part-time job students are all above 67%,even to the highest 88.24%.And totally say,the proportion of the undergraduate who participate in part-time job exhibit a rising trend from freshman to the grade 4 students.

批改：本段基本完成了图表描述的任务，指出了数据范围和总体趋势。但存在明显的语法错误和中式英语表达

原文：exhibit a

批改：the proportion... exhibit → 主谓不一致，应为 the proportion... exhibits。

原文：aduate who par

批改：the undergraduate who participate → 定冠词和动词错误，应为 undergraduates who participate。

原文：nd totally say,

批改：totally say → 是典型的中式英语，应改为 overall 或 in general

原文：rade 4 stud

批改：grade 4 students → 不符合英文表达习惯，应为 seniors

原文：rom the data depicts the college students part-time job condition,we could conclude that the undergraduates have a high ethusiasm in doing part-time job and they take efforts in gathering work experience as well developing ability.Then,what can infered from the rising tendency from grade1 to 4 is that the senior class students show more attention to job seeking so they have more demand in doing part-timr job to develop themselves.

批改：本段尝试解读数据背后的原因，观点方向正确（高年级学生更关注求职）。但句子结构混乱，逻辑连接生硬，且存在严重拼写错误。

原文：So from the data depicts

批改：So from the data depicts... condition → 这是一个杂糅句，包含两个谓语动词。应改为 From the data depicting... condition, we... 或 The data depicts..., so we...。

原文：,what can infered fr

批改：what can infered from... is that... → infered 拼写错误，应为 What can be inferred... is that..

原文：husiasm

批改：ethusiasm → 拼写错误，应为 enthusiasm

原文： part-timr job to dev

批改：part-timr → 拼写错误，应为 part-time。 take efforts → 搭配不当，应为 make efforts

原文：erefore,our college students probably have a definate career planning and they prepare a lot to meet the future challenges and opportunity.

批改：结尾段总结了学生的积极姿态

原文：efinate

批改：definate → 拼写错误，应为 definite

原文： future challenges and o

批改：opportunity 在此处应为复数 opportunities，以与 challenges 并列

原文：areer planning and

批改：career planning → 作为可数名词，此处应为 a definite career plan。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分

你的作文较好地完成了试题规定的任务。包含了所有内容要点，但允许漏掉1-2个次重点（如对趋势的深入分析）。

语言表达：

语法与词汇：使用了一些较丰富的语法结构和词汇，但存在多个影响理解的严重句子结构错误和基础拼写错误。

句式方面：试图使用复杂句式，但掌控能力不足，导致句子冗长、结构混乱。

内容层面：

结构与完整性：结构基本清晰。

论证充分性：论证基本合理，但深度不足，逻辑衔接可以更流畅。

修改建议

核心建议：理清句子结构，提升表达准确性，并深化论证。

解决句子完整性问题：在写复杂句之前，先确保句子的主干（主谓宾）清晰正确。避免将多个信息点强行塞入一个句子中，必要时拆分成两个短句。

积累地道表达：记忆固定搭配，如 make efforts, career plan, gain experience，避免中式英语。

深化论证逻辑：第二段在指出高年级学生更关注求职后，可以进一步解释为什么，例如学业压力减小、职业规划紧迫性增强等。

本文展示的2013年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二作文真题的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。