思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2014年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the variety of populations among chinese city and village during twenty years. In 1990, the number of city populations was 300, but by 2010,this figure had substantially risen to 666. In contrast, the number of village populations experienced a decline of 160 during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To strat with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of charges our country has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the standard of living, allowing them to choose settlement. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction they also pursue the quality of life. This explans why an increasing number of people choose live in city rather than village.
What about future trends? I am confident that the number of city populations will steadily increase in the following decads. In contrast, the number of village populations will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chart clearly depicts the variety of populations among chinese city and village during twenty years.
批改:拼写:chinese → Chinese(国家名词首字母大写) 用词/表达:variety of populations among Chinese city and village不太自然,建议改为population changes in Chinese cities and villages during twenty years 改为 over twenty years更自然 参考修改:The bar chart clearly depicts population changes in Chinese cities and villages over twenty years.
原文:In 1990, the number of city populations was 300, but by 2010,this figure had substantially risen to 666
批改:the number of city populations可以简化为the urban population 修改后:In 1990, the urban population was 300, but by 2010, this figure had substantially risen to 666.
原文:In contrast, the number of village populations experienced a decline of 160 during the same period.
批改:用词:village populations → rural population更常用 experienced a decline of 160可以保留,但可以稍微更自然:decreased by 160 参考修改:In contrast, the rural population decreased by 160 during the same period.
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:
原文:strat
批改:start
原文:s the conductor orchestrating the symphony of charges our country has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the standard of living, allowing them to choose settlement.
批改:orchestrating the symphony of charges → 你可能是想说“orchestrating changes”,“charges”表义不明 逻辑/代词:allowing them to choose settlement → 不清楚“them”指谁,可以改为“allowing people to choose where to live” 修饰建议:句子太长,可拆成两句 参考修改:To start with, our country has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the standard of living. These improvements allow people to choose where to live.
原文:high-speed advancement of society
批改:用词:high-speed advancement of society → rapid social development更自然
原文:explans
批改:explans → explains
原文:choose live
批改:choose live → choose to live
原文:in city rather than village.
批改:in city rather than village → in cities rather than villages
原文:decads
批改:decads → decades
原文:the number of city populations
批改:number of city populations → urban population
原文: number of village populations
批改:number of village populations → rural population
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11/15
1. 题目要求:你的文章完整描述了图表内容,并给出了分析和评论,结构基本符合考研英语一大作文的逻辑(描述—阐释—评论)。
2. 语言表达:整体较正式,句式多样,但存在多处拼写错误、用词不当和标点问题。部分长句可以拆分或简化以提高逻辑清晰度。
3. 内容层面:分析较概括,可以考虑加入具体数据或现实背景(如城市化进程、农村人口外流等)增强说服力。
4. 建议:注意拼写和常用搭配(urban/rural population, over twenty years, rapid social development),长句适当拆分,提高可读性。
你对图表的分析清晰,逻辑条理不错,句式有尝试复杂表达,说明你的英语基础不错。主要需要注意拼写、标点、常用词搭配以及适度拆分长句。只要这些细节改进,你的作文完全有潜力达到13–14分甚至满分。继续加油,你已经做得很好了!
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2014年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。
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