2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2021年考研英语二大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly display the percentage breakdown of the resident exercise way at a certain city. Exercise alone takes the lead at 54.3%, follow by exercise with their friends.Additionally, factors such as exercise with their families and exercise together are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, doing exercise has emerges as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above stastistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of the choices of citizen, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：display

批改：此处要用谓语动词的三单形式，改为 displays

原文：the resident exercise way

批改：此处不能直接堆词，改为 different ways of physical exercise among the residents

原文：at

批改：in 加大地点，改为 in

原文：Exercise

批改：动词原形不能作主语，此处改为动名词 Exercising

原文：follow

批改：此处为状语，改为 followed

原文：exercise

批改：by 后面加的是动名词，改为 exercising

原文：exercise

批改：改为 exercising

原文：exercise together

批改：可改为 group activities

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图表内容 ，多注意语法问题

原文：health

批改：可改为 their health

批改：此处只分析了为什么居民选择锻炼，但是对于图中的几种方式未展开分析，在分析原因时，我们多选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析。其中，独自锻炼占比 54.3%，必须进行原因分析。此外，我们还可以从和朋友一起或和家人一起的角度进行分析。但是此处都未提到

原文：the choice of

批改：删去

原文：citizen

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 citizens

批改：结尾段内容表达不错

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，但是没有就图表中的元素进行分析

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较具体，但是未和图表中的元素产生联系

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心 2. 内容表达一定要和图表的元素息息相关，不能脱离，之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，试着多用自己的话来写，加油！

本文精解的2021年考研英语二范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。