考研英语二作文范文每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2023年考研英语二批改范例,从生活实际出发,紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图(表)描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
Illustrated in the chart above are these statistics showing the tendency of the health literacy. From 2012 to 2021, the number of the health literacy, beyond expectations, swallowed dramatically from only about 8.6% to 25.4%.
The fundamental factors that contribute to the aforementioned tendency may be expounded as follows. Firstly, the rapid development of information technology, which delivers unprecedented volumes of data, can empower individuals, providing residents with a wealthy foundation to test their the body abilities. Secondly, contemporary life is so dominated by stress that the pursuit of financial returns frequently overshadows the value of their physical health. Finally, rational choices shape our future. While the government offers many the ways, the decision to work out their own body can have profoundly positive consequences.
This trend, such as people better the health, against the backdrop of the economic boom in China, will probably become dominant in the foreseeable future.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:Illustrated in the chart above are these statistics showing the tendency of the health literacy. From 2012 to 2021, the number of the health literacy, beyond expectations, swallowed dramatically from only about 8.6% to 25.4%.
批改:用具体数据描述图表内容,清晰直观,但是建议在段落后面补充这些数据反映的社会现象
原文:swallowed
批改:上升 一般用 increased / ascended / rosea
原文:the
批改:删除
原文:The fundamental factors that contribute to the aforementioned tendency may be expounded as follows. Firstly, the rapid development of information technology, which delivers unprecedented volumes of data, can empower individuals, providing residents with a wealthy foundation to test their the body abilities. Secondly, contemporary life is so dominated by stress that the pursuit of financial returns frequently overshadows the value of their physical health. Finally, rational choices shape our future. While the government offers many the ways, the decision to work out their own body can have profoundly positive consequences.
批改:以分论点的形式论述这一现象背后的原因,逻辑严谨,层次分明。
原文:such as people better the health
批改:删除
原文:This trend, such as people better the health, against the backdrop of the economic boom in China, will probably become dominant in the foreseeable future.
批改:总结全文,升华主题,展望未来,立意深远。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13 /15
这篇文章内容完整充实,结构清晰合理,逻辑严谨,层次分明,句型表达丰富。
首段总体概括图表主题,呈现中国居民健康素养水平的显著提升。第二段原因分析,可从公共医疗体系和基础设施建设加强、民众对个人健康的日益重视等角度展开。第三段可结合当前趋势,合理推测未来的发展方向,同时建议政府继续扩大卫生服务范围以持续提升全民健康素养水平。
文章整体来说,言简意赅,符合了考试写作提纲的要求,文章表示语义衔接的词语运用不太多,在以后的写作中可以多尝试使用一些表示衔接的词语,这样文章段落内部句内和段落之间的关系就能很明朗的表现出来。同时注意避免单纯罗列数据,可适当引用社会现象或政策背景支持分析,增强说服力。
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