2021年考研英语二大作文写作方向与示例

作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2021年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语二作文真题常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of sport exercise among residents at a certain city.personal exercise take the leads at 54.3%,followed by with friends together at 47.7%.Additionally ,factors such as with family members together and group exercise are also considered ,accounting for 23.9%,15.8%,respectively.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes ,our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a sound sport environment ,enabling peoples to have ample opportunities to more exercises .In additionally ,China’s society has an extensive and profoundly transformation .In my view,the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s responding populace health aspect to these changes .Considering these factors ,the phenomenon depicted in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends,I am confident that the above stasticial figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of people ,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will continue to remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of different ways of sport exercise among residents at a certain city.personal exercise take the leads at 54.3%,followed by with friends together at 47.7%.Additionally ,factors such as with family members together and group exercise are also considered ,accounting for 23.9%,15.8%,respectively.

批改：你准确地抓住了图表的核心数据，并且使用了“takes the lead”, “followed by”, “accounting for...respectively”等一系列专业短语，结构感很好

原文： core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes ,our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a sound sport environment ,enabling peoples to have ample opportunities to more exercises .In additionally ,China’s society has an extensive and profoundly transformation .In my view,the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s responding populace health aspect to these changes .Considering these factors ,the phenomenon depicted in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：你从政府和社会转型两个宏观角度分析原因，视角很好。那个“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”的比喻依然非常精彩！

原文：t about future trends,I am confident that the above stasticial figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of people ,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will continue to remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：结尾段再次使用了“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这个亮点表达，并对未来趋势做出了合理判断，完成得很不错。

原文：stasticial figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of people ,serving as a microcosm

批改：“stasticial”： 拼写有误，正确拼写是 statistical。 “the choice of people”： 这里指代人们的“选择”，由于是多种运动方式，用复数 choices 更准确。 “will continue to remain”： continue 和 remain 在意思上略有重复，保留其中一个即可，比如 will remain 或 will continue to be，这样表达更简洁。

原文：goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a sound sport environment ,enabling peoples to have ample opportunities to more exercises .In additionally ,Chin

批改：“goverment”： 这是一个常见的拼写错误，正确拼写是 government。 “enabling peoples to have ample opportunities to more exercises”： “peoples”指“民族”，这里你想说的是“人们”，应为people。“to more exercises”中，exercise作“锻炼”讲是不可数名词，应为to do more exercise。 “In additionally”： 正确的过渡词是 Additionally

原文：an extensive and profoundly transformation .In my view,the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress made by China’s responding populace health as

批改：“an extensive and profoundly transformation”： profoundly 是副词，不能修饰名词，应改为形容词 profound。 “the significant progress made by China’s responding populace health aspect to these changes”： 这个长句的核心意思很好，想表达“民众在健康方面对变化的响应”，但结构有些缠绕，导致意思不够清晰。我们可以把它简化，让观点更突出，例如：...is the positive response of the Chinese populace, who are placing greater importance on their health.

原文：ts at a certain city.personal exercise take the leads at 54.3%,followed by with friends together at 47.7%.Addition

批改：“at a certain city”： 这里介词使用不当，应改为 in a certain city。 “personal exercise take the leads”： 这里有两处可以优化。一是主语“personal exercise”作为一种类型，我们通常视作单数，谓语动词应用 takes；二是“lead”在表示“领先地位”时是不可数名词，应为 takes the lead。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11

你这篇作文的框架和思路都非常清晰，尤其值得表扬的是，你正在有意识地将之前学过的高级词汇和句型（如 microcosm, conductor orchestrating the symphony）运用到新作文里，这是一个非常有效的学习方法！

如果要向更高分数冲刺，我们可以聚焦于两个核心任务：

精准度的“临门一脚”：你已经有很好的词汇和句型储备，现在需要确保它们在拼写（government, statistical）和搭配（do exercise, in a city）上万无一失。写完后再快速通读一遍，专门检查这些小细节，效果会非常好。

观点的“清晰表达”：当有一个复杂的好想法时（比如第二段最后一句），可以尝试先在心里用简单的词把意思说清楚，再组织成英文长句。这样能有效避免句式缠绕，让逻辑更清晰。

读完本文，你对2021年考研英语二大作文的考研英语二作文真题写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握？启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包，包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测，在线咨询即可免费领取。