2011年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

2011年考研英语二大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

Illustrate in the chart above are these statistics: the market share of part brand of the cars in China in 2009 and 2008 years. In 2008 year, Japanese cars topped the three, while in 2009 year, a remarkable incline of 10, from 35 to 25. By contrast, there was a noticeable decrease of 5 from 25 to 30 during the same period in Chinese, and US stayed at the same level of 10.

The fundamental factors that contribute to the aforementioned tendency may be expounded as follows. In the first place, coincident the growing quantity of information is the development of technologies which enable delivery of more information with greater speed to locations than has ever been possible before. In this rapidly developing world, many people are becoming increasingly confident, which lays a vital economic for them to buy the cars which make in China. Secondly, the stress of modern life has led to a significant prioritize profit more, neglecting the car in making also enhance the quality. Finally, a rational choice counts a lot because it determines the future. Despite the above, due to cultural diversity, there was many options for every person-and some them choose the very way of supposing making in China.

The trend ,against the backdrop of the economic boom in China, will probably become dominant in the foreseeable future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Illustrate in the chart above are these statistics

批改：Illustrated​​需用过去分词表被动）；或调整语序为The chart above illustrates...

原文：the market share of part brand of the cars in China

批改：the market share of some ​​car brands​​ in China in ​​2008 and 2009

原文：years

批改：删除

原文：year,

批改：删除

原文： year

批改：删除

原文：In 2008 year, Japanese cars topped the three, while in 2009 year, a remarkable incline of 10, from 35 to 25.

批改：语句不自然，没有百分号。In 2008, Japanese cars ​​topped the rankings​​, while in 2009, they experienced a remarkable ​​decline of 10 percentage points​​, from 35% to 25%.

原文：By contrast, there was a noticeable decrease of 5 from 25 to 30 during the same period in Chinese, and US stayed at the same level of 10.

批改：By contrast, Chinese cars saw a noticeable increase of 5 percentage points, from 25% to 30%, during the same period, and US cars stayed at 10%

原文：delivery of more information with greater speed to locations than has ever been possible before

批改：冗余 ​​faster delivery​​ of more data to more places than ever before

原文：economic

批改：economic foundation

原文：which make in China

批改：​​cars made in China，改为非谓语，避免which从句重复

原文：Secondly, the stress of modern life has led to a significant prioritize profit more, neglecting the car in making also enhance the quality.

批改：这句话语义不清，参考：the stress of modern life has led people to ​​prioritize profit over quality​​, neglecting improvements in car manufacturing.

原文：the above

批改：Despite the above factors

原文：was

批改：are

原文： person-and some them choose the very way of supposing making in China

批改：语义不清，and some ​​of us​​ opt for ​​Chinese-made cars.

原文：The trend ,against the backdrop of the economic boom in China, will probably become dominant in the foreseeable future.

批改：good.

原文：The fundamental factors that contribute to the aforementioned tendency may be expounded as follows. In the first place, coincident the growing quantity of information is the development of technologies which enable delivery of more information with greater speed to locations than has ever been possible before. In this rapidly developing world, many people are becoming increasingly confident, which lays a vital economic for them to buy the cars which make in China. Secondly, the stress of modern life has led to a significant prioritize profit more, neglecting the car in making also enhance the quality. Finally, a rational choice counts a lot because it determines the future. Despite the above, due to cultural diversity, there was many options for every person-and some them choose the very way of supposing making in China.

批改：词汇和句法丰富，表达含糊的地方多

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/15分。

1.作文内容包含全面，主题明确，层次分明，考试时保持这样的结构；

2.运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语结构和同位语变化使用，但是语言拮据敖牙，中式表达居多，考试时老师可能没有大量时间细品，导致扣分；

3.采用恰当的衔接手法，内容较为连贯；

4.根据自己的基础，把信息简明、通顺地表达出来，可以多内化老师讲的高分词汇和模板句型，写作和背诵相结合，减少失误，加油！

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