2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

2021年考研英语二大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage of people"s style of do exercises. Do exercises alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by do exercises with friends at 47.7%. Moreover, factors such as do exercises with family and attend activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%

The care reasons for the observend phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material fulfillment, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people want to do exercises alone. In addition, as we a all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lifes, notably altering people"s behaviors and choices. Therefore, more and more people have started paying more atter tion to do exercises alone. Considering these factors, the display phenomenon in the chart is not surprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above figures reflect the choices of people, serving as a miniature of the changes in the era, and will likely remain stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： bar chart clearly displays the percentage of people"s style of do exercises. Do exercises alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by do exercises with friends at 47.7%. Moreover, factors such as do exercises with family and attend activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%

批改：你准确地抓住了图表中的核心数据，并且使用了“takes the lead", "followed by", "accounting for”等专业表达，数据呈现清晰，做得很好！

原文：o exercis

批改：Do exercises alone takes the lead... 动词原形不能直接作主语，需要改为动名词形式。应修正为 Exercising alone takes the lead...。同样的问题也出现在 do exercises with friends，应改为 exercising with friends。

原文：ctors such as do

批改：...factors such as do exercises with family and attend activities... 同样，在介词 as 后面，也需要使用动名词形式，应改为 exercising with family and participating in group activities

原文：e care reasons for the observend phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material fulfillment, they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people want to do exercises alone. In addition, as we a all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lifes, notably altering people"s behaviors and choices. Therefore, more and more people have started paying more atter tion to do exercises alone. Considering these factors, the display phenomenon in the chart is not surprising.

批改：你从“精神需求”和“新冠疫情”两个角度分析原因，视角独特，论证的格局很大。特别是将新冠疫情作为论据，非常具有时代感。

原文：re reasons for the observend pheno

批改：The core reasons 和 observed phenomenon。

原文： people are no longer c

批改：...material fulfillment; they also pursue...（使用分号） ...material fulfillment, and they also pursue...（使用逗号和连词） ...material fulfillment. They also pursue...（使用句号断开）

原文： as we a all kn

批改： 多了一个 a，应为 as we all know

原文：r lifes, n

批改：life 的复数形式是 lives。

原文：aying more atte

批改：atter tion 是 attention 的拼写错误。 pay attention to 后面应接名词或动名词，所以是 paying more attention to exercising alone。

原文：isplay phen

批改：the depicted phenomenon。

原文：hat about future trends? I am confident that the above figures reflect the choices of people, serving as a miniature of the changes in the era, and will likely remain stable in the following decades.

批改：你对未来趋势做出了合理的判断，并且用“a miniature of the changes in the era”进行总结，这个表达很有创意！

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11

你的作文成功完成了试题规定的核心任务：

内容与结构：包含了数据描述、原因分析和趋势预测，结构完整。

词汇与语法：能够使用“in the wake of", "miniature", "notably altering"等高级词汇和复杂句式，潜力很大。

主要的失分点在于一些影响理解的语法结构错误（如动词作主语、逗号粘连）和较多的拼写错误。

总评与修改建议

我给你的核心建议是：

攻克“动词变身”的规则：请务必记住这个关键规则：当动词在句中作主语或位于介词（如of, in, for, to, as）后面时，要使用其动名词形式（verb+ing）。在练习时，可以有意识地提醒自己注意这一点。

建立“拼写与句子检查”机制：在完成全文后，请务必留出时间做两件事：① 快速通读，检查单词拼写；② 留意那些长的、用逗号连接的句子，确保没有“逗号粘连”的错误。

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