2021年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2021年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displacy the percentage breakdam of people"s exercise way of this city. Exercise allone takes the lend at 54.3%, following by exercise with frends at 47.7%. In additionally, factors such us exercise with families and term exercise are also considered, accounting 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows, To start with, as well all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impatted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing numbe of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In additionally, As the saying goes, "On life"s staye, perssure is always present." Nowadays,people are compelled to confront immense life pressure, and as a result, choise different way to exercise and do exercise has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above satistical figures accurately and truthly reflect the choice of this people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remarin relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： bar chart clearly displacy the percentage breakdam of people"s exercise way of this city. Exercise allone takes the lend at 54.3%, following by exercise with frends at 47.7%. In additionally, factors such us exercise with families and term exercise are also considered, accounting 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

批改：有几个单词的拼写我们可以留意一下：“displacy” 应为 “displays”；“breakdam” 应为 “breakdown”；“allone” 应为 “alone”；“lend” 应为 “lead”；“frends” 应为 “friends”。

原文： following by e

批改：following by” 应改为过去分词 “followed by”，用于引出紧随其后的内容。

原文：dditionally, f

批改：“In additionally” 是混淆了 “In addition” 和 “Additionally”，两者任选其一即可。

原文：such us

批改：“such us” 应为 “such as”。

原文：term exercise

批改：“term exercise” 想表达的可能是 “team exercise”（团队锻炼）。

原文：accounting

批改：“accounting” 后面需要加上介词 “for”，构成固定搭配 “accounting for”。

原文：ar chart clearly displacy the percentage breakdam of people"s exercise way of this city. Exercise allone takes the lend at 54.3%, following by exercise with frends at 47.7%. In additionally, factors such us exercise with families and term exercise are also considered, accounting 23.9% and 15.8% respectively

批改：：你准确地提取了图表中的核心数据，并且按照从高到低的顺序进行呈现，这个思路非常清晰。如果能在单词拼写和固定搭配上再细心一些，这段数据描述就会非常出色了。

原文：as well all know

批改：“as well all know” 应为 “as we all know”；“impatted” 应为 “impacted”；“numbe” 应为 “number”。

原文：On life"s staye, perssure is always present." N

批改：引用的谚语中，“staye” 应为 “stage”；“perssure” 应为 “pressure”。

原文：choise different way to

批改：“choise different way to exercise” 这部分结构不太完整。可以调整为 “choosing different ways to exercise has emerged...” ，让动名词短语做主语。

原文：xercise and do exercise

批改：“do exercise” 和前面的 “exercise” 意思重复了，可以删去。

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows, To start with, as well all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impatted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing numbe of individuals have started paying more attention to health. In additionally, As the saying goes, "On life"s staye, perssure is always present." Nowadays,people are compelled to confront immense life pressure, and as a result, choise different way to exercise and do exercise has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.

批改：你从“疫情提升健康意识”和“生活压力促使选择不同锻炼方式”两个角度来分析，这个思考角度非常好，特别是第二点，很有见地！这让你的文章有了自己的思考。目前的主要挑战在于如何将这些好的想法用更准确的语言表达出来。

原文： satistical figures accurately and truthly reflect the choice of this people, serving as a microco

批改：“satisfical” 应为 “statistical”；“truthly” 不是一个单词，应改为 “truly” 或 “truthfully”。

原文：this people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remarin relatively

批改：“this people” 指代不清，可以改为 “people"s choices” 或 “the choices of the city"s residents”。 “remarin” 应为 “remain”。

原文：t about future trends? I am confident that the above satistical figures accurately and truthly reflect the choice of this people, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remarin relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：你对未来趋势做出了“保持稳定”的判断，并尝试将个人选择与时代变迁联系起来，这个结尾很有深度，是一个亮点！

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

总分与总评

这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了主要的内容要点。但在语法结构、词汇拼写和准确性上存在较多问题，影响了理解。

总评与修改建议：

你的论述思路和看问题的角度是这篇作文最大的亮点！你没有停留在表面，而是尝试去分析现象背后的深层原因（如生活压力），并且能在结尾进行总结升华，这非常棒。

当前，打好语言基础：我建议你可以专门准备一个笔记本，集中整理和记忆作文中的高频核心词汇（如chart, percentage, increase等）和固定搭配（如account for, lead to）。在动笔前，先把这些基础词汇在脑海中过一遍。

完成后的检查：写完作文后，如果时间允许，请专门留出2-3分钟快速通读一遍，重点检查单词拼写和最基本的语法点（如主谓一致、时态）。这个习惯会帮你避免很多不必要的失分。

如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数，可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时，启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名，在线咨询可获考研英语二真题高分资料礼包。