考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2016年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一写作冲刺核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

It could be found that a father, in the left-hand picture, is smoking and watching TV but asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, not only the son but also the father dedicate themselves to their work. Apparently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

The issue of children education has attracted a great social attention on social media. As it"s known to all, plenty of parents merely considering providing good environment and resources. However, being a positive example should be taken into consideration as well. Children usually tend to copy their parents" behavior, which means that the negative example presented is likely a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative cutlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefores we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental fc of negative example to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：It could be found that a father, in the left-hand picture, is smoking and watching TV but asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, not only the son but also the father dedicate themselves to their work. Apparently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that positive example is the brush that paints a bright future, while negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：considering

批改：改成谓语consider

原文：cutlook

批改：outlook

原文：The issue of children education has attracted a great social attention on social media. As it"s known to all, plenty of parents merely considering providing good environment and resources. However, being a positive example should be taken into consideration as well. Children usually tend to copy their parents" behavior, which means that the negative example presented is likely a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative cutlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述，语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子，值得表扬。

批改：加逗号断句

原文：Therefores

批改：therefore

原文：fc

批改：effect

原文：In brief, positive examples are the catalyst for societal and personal development from which we all stand to benefit. Therefores we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental fc of negative example to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

批改：该段能够针对图画现象提出自己的解决措施，注意避免拼写错误。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯，注意正确使用标点断句；语法方面，注意谓语的正确使用。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

2016年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一写作冲刺常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。