考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2013年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一写作技巧话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
As shown in the drawing, there are numerous graduates standing at the road which is seperated into four different directions called job hunting, taking part in postgraduate entrance exams, going abroad and starting a business respectively. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is our choice that plays an important role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. Graduates appear to make decisions based on their own realities and dreams. People who are eager to be economically independent may turn to seek for a job or establish a company by themselves while others who are passionate about their fields of study have a tendency to enroll in graduate programs inside or outside. However, no matter which direction we choose, we are ought to make sure that we can take responsibility for our choices and dedicate ourselves to it.
In brief, it"s sensible that we should take a ratioral attitude towards the decisive choice. In my view ,being a postgradoute has long been my dream while it also benefits during the job hunting.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:own in the drawing, there are numerous graduates standing at the road which is seperated into four different directions called job hunting, taking part in postgraduate entrance exams, going abroad and starting a business respectively. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that it is our choice that plays an important role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:开篇成功描述了漫画场景并点明了主旨,结构清晰
原文:phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways. Graduates appear to make decisions based on their own realities and dreams. People who are eager to be economically independent may turn to seek for a job or establish a company by themselves while others who are passionate about their fields of study have a tendency to enroll in graduate programs inside or outside. However, no matter which direction we choose, we are ought to make sure that we can take responsibility for our choices and dedicate ourselves to it.
批改:这是全文最出彩的段落,论证有深度,体现了你的独立思考能力
原文:rief, it"s sensible that we should take a ratioral attitude towards the decisive choice. In my view ,being a postgradoute has long been my dream while it also benefits during the job hunting.
批改:结尾段总结观点并分享个人经历
原文:seperated into f
批改:seperated 拼写有误,正确形式是 separated
原文:eek for a job or establish a company by themselves while others who are passionate about their fields of
批改:seek for a job 中介词 for 是多余的,地道的表达是 seek a job 或 look for a job。 have a tendency to enroll 这个表达稍显冗长和书面化,可以简化为更直接的 may choose to pursue。
原文:we are ought to make sure that we can take responsibility for our choices and dedicate oursel
批改:we are ought to 是一个常见的语法错误,情态动词 ought to 前面不需要加 are,正确形式是 we ought to。 dedicate ourselves to it 句末的 it 指代的是前面的复数名词 our choices,因此代词应使用复数形式 them。
原文:ratioral attitude towards the decisive choice. In my view ,being a postgradoute has long been my dr
批改:ratioral 拼写错误,应为 rational。 postgradoute 拼写错误,应为 postgraduate。 , being a... 逗号后应空一格。 while it also benefits during the job hunting 这个句子不完整,benefits (获益) 后面缺少宾语,意思不完整。可以补充为 it also benefits us during job hunting 或 it is also beneficial for job hunting。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
主要优点:
结构完整清晰:严格遵循了“描述漫画-揭示寓意-深入分析-总结观点”的论述结构,条理清楚。
内容充实有深度:第二段的原因分析具体、合理,结尾的呼吁也体现了积极的价值观念。
逻辑连贯:段落内部和段落之间的衔接自然,思路流畅。
核心提升点:
当前的主要失分点在于语言的精确性,具体体现在:
词汇拼写:有几处关键名词和形容词的拼写错误。
语法细节:如情态动词的使用、代词指代的一致性、及物动词的用法等。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一写作技巧高分资料礼包。
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