考研英语一2016年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2016年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand picture, there is a boy doing his homework.His father says that he need to have a nice study.Meanwhile, his father turned on TV to effect him.On the contrary, in the right-hand picture, father and son work on table together.Evidently the picture intends to convey to readers that family members have similar behavior in same time is the brush that paints a bright future, while family members effect each others is the shackle that hinders progress

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost, parents are role models to their children.Kids will follow their parents behavior.What"s more, nobody like others effect him when he is thinking.

In brief, good family education environment is the catalyst for personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of family environment to ensure kid"s growth stands on course

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand picture, there is a boy doing his homework

批改：简单直接地描述了左边图片中的主要场景，表意清晰。

原文：His father says that he need to have a nice study

批改：“he need”应改为“he needs”，主谓不一致。

原文：Meanwhile, his father turned on TV to effect him

批改：“effect him”表述错误，“effect”作动词时意为“产生效果；影响”，此处用词不当，应是“disturb him”（打扰他）。

原文：On the contrary, in the right-hand picture, father and son work on table together.

批改：描述了右边图片的场景，但“work on table”表述不准确，应是“work at the table”。

原文：Evidently the picture intends to convey to readers that family members have similar behavior in same time is the brush that paints a bright future, while family members effect each others is the shackle that hinders progre

批改：“in same time”应改为“at the same time”；“effect each others”表述错误，应是“affect each other”

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant

批改：此句起到过渡作用，引出下文对现象的分析，表意明确。

原文：First and foremost, parents are role models to their children.

批改：观点清晰，指出父母是孩子的榜样。

原文：Kids will follow their parents behavior.What"s more, nobody like others effect him when he is thinking.

批改：存在语法错误，“parents behavior”应改为“parents" behavior”，缺少所有格。“like”应改为“likes”，主谓不一致；“effect him”应改为“affecting him”.

原文：In brief, good family education environment is the catalyst for personal development,from which we all stand to benefit.

批改：总结了良好家庭教育环境对个人发展的积极作用，表意清晰。

原文：herefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice.

批改：提出了应积极支持和倡导良好家庭教育环境的做法，逻辑合理。

原文：Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of family environment to ensure kid"s growth stands on course

批改：“kid"s”应改为“kids"”，缺少所有格；“stands on course”表述不准确，应是“stays on track”。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12/20

题目要求：基本遵循了题目要求，完成了三项核心任务。在描述图片方面，对左右两幅图分别进行了场景描绘，提及了左边图中男孩做作业以及父亲开电视，右边图中父子共同在桌前做事等关键信息；在解读含义上，尝试指出图片意在传达家庭成员行为对未来发展的影响；在给出评论部分，阐述了良好家庭教育环境的重要性并提出了相关建议。

语言表达：部分词汇使用较为准确，如“role models”“catalyst”“detrimental effects”等，能够较为精准地表达观点。一些过渡语句的使用，如“First and foremost”“What"s more”“Therefore”“Additionally”等，使文章在结构上有一定的连贯性。但是长难句比较少，都是简短句子。

内容层面：有一定的逻辑框架，按照描述图片、解读含义、给出评论的顺序进行写作，层次较为分明。能够提出父母是孩子榜样以及良好家庭环境对个人发展有益等观点，具备一定的思考性。

修改建议：仔细检查并修正主谓不一致、词汇使用错误、所有格缺失等语法问题，确保句子结构完整、正确。

本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。