2011年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分？研读启航教育整理的2011年考研英语二批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语二写作技巧核心话题，从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨，是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

Section TV Writing Part B.

48. As is exhibited by the numbers in the bar chart, the proportions of domestic cars" brandings had notable changes during the period from 2008 to 2009. Specifically, Chinese brands soared sharply from 25% to 30%. On the contrary, Japanese brand falled notably from 35% to 25% during the some period. These data lead us to the conclusion that Chinese brands has developing rapidly in these years.

A variety of reasons can be cited to account for the phe--nomenon. Primarily, the majority of people believe that Chinese brands cars will provide them with a lower price without tariff and industrial upgrading, which may put them in beneficial position in the future. Secondly, we must acknowledge the fact that the dramatic rise in Chinese brands is inextricably linked to the rapid economic growth and rising disposable incomes. Lastly, Compared with foreign brands, Chinese brands can expand the market, so as to employment promotion.

All in all, it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that enough attention must be turned to the propartions of domestic cars" brands by ourseives. For onething, it is imperative for the authorities to make strict laws to allocate more funds, For another, enterprises ought to spare no pains to enhance product quality and reduce commodity prices. In this way, hopefully, we may have a better future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：by the numbers

批改：删去

原文：domestic cars" brandings

批改：可以说 different automobile brands including Chinese, Japanese and American brands in the domestic market

原文：had notable changes

批改：change除了可以作名词，还可以作动词，灵活转换词性，如 notably change

原文：during the period

批改：删去

原文：As is exhibited by the numbers in the bar chart, the proportions of domestic cars" brandings had notable changes during the period from 2008 to 2009.

批改：首段概括图表内容可以参考如下 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：soared sharply

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：Specifically, Chinese brands soared sharply from 25% to 30%.

批改：时间不要漏了，可以说 in 2008 and 2009

原文：falled

批改：fall的过去式是fell

原文：some

批改：same

原文：These data

批改：可以说 What it shows above

原文：lead us to the conclusion that

批改：“得出...结论”可以说come to the conclusion/draw the conclusion that...

原文：These data lead us to the conclusion that Chinese brands has developing rapidly in these years.

批改：根据图表内容给出了自己的观点，做得很好，整句话可以改为 “What it shows above comes to the conclusion/draws the conclusion that Chinese automobile brand has been developing rapidly in these years.” 首段较准确地描述了图中各项数据和它们之间的变化，部分用词表达需注意，可以更灵活，适时转换词性，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文：has

批改：仍在不断发展过程中，这里用Chinese brand has been developing...

原文：phe--nomenon

批改：改为 phenomenon

原文：Chinese brands cars

批改：国产汽车品牌用Chinese automobile brand

原文：beneficial position

批改：a beneficial position

原文：Chinese brands cars will provide them with a lower price without tariff and industrial upgrading, which may put them in beneficial position in the future.

批改：第一点从市场，也就是国产品牌自身优势的角度论述，分析了价格和产业转型升级是国产品牌发展的原因，但这句话的表述不到位，改为“Chinese automobile brand, favoured by more young consumers, has been more competitive due to its advantageous price and technological upgrading/advancement.”更恰当

原文：the dramatic rise in Chinese brands

批改：是比例增加，改为 the dramatic/significant rise in the proportion of Chinese brand

原文：rising

批改：enhancement of “...的改善，提高”

原文：Secondly, we must acknowledge the fact that the dramatic rise in Chinese brands is inextricably linked to the rapid economic growth and rising disposable incomes.

批改：需要围绕观点分析“为什么国产汽车品牌相比其他两类品牌发展迅速，呈上升趋势”，可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人层面展开，第二点从社会层面出发，提到经济发展，人们可支配收入增加，使得国产汽车品牌越来越受欢迎

原文：Compared with foreign brands, Chinese brands can expand the market, so as to employment promotion.

批改：这篇文章是现象-原因型，需要根据图中所展现的现象及趋势给出自己的观点并分析“为什么”。主干有自己的行文角度，但未能较清晰论述，第三点所阐述的偏向国产汽车品牌带来的影响，且要点表述不够恰当，建议先将原因梳理出来，再积累更丰富的逻辑衔接词帮助划分文章层次

原文：draw the conclusion that

批改：有意识运用短语，丰富表达是很好的。结尾可以合理预测未来国产汽车品牌的发展趋势和走向，是持续上升呢还是下降，其他品牌又是如何？

原文：turned

批改：改为 paid

原文：propartions

批改：正确写法为 proportion

原文：domestic cars" brands

批改：改为 domestic brand

原文：ourseives

批改：正确写法为 ourselves

原文：For onething, it is imperative for the authorities to make strict laws to allocate more funds, For another, enterprises ought to spare no pains to enhance product quality and reduce commodity prices.

批改：结尾用了for one thing... ; for another...这一结构给各方主体提出了建设性的措施，整篇文章大致依照“是什么——为什么——怎么做”展开，依照这一逻辑论述是合理的

原文：make strict laws

批改：“立法”还可以说 legislate

原文：spare no pains to

批改：spare no effort/expense 不遗余力

原文：All in all, it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that enough attention must be turned to the propartions of domestic cars" brands by ourseives. For onething, it is imperative for the authorities to make strict laws to allocate more funds, For another, enterprises ought to spare no pains to enhance product quality and reduce commodity prices. In this way, hopefully, we may have a better future.

批改：结尾对立法机关和作为市场主体的国产汽车企业提出“怎么做”的一些建议，还可以给出如“未来引进更多技术提升产品质量”、“大力发展新能源，往绿色低碳方向发展”等实例

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述还可以更准确；

2）语言上：出现部分词汇和表达方面的错误，运用了丰富的短语和句式；

3）结构上：有行文角度，但论述不是很充实，原因分析不够到位；

4）学习建议：

文章做的好的地方是根据图表内容给出了自己的观点，但尤其需要注意词汇和语法的准确运用。有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述

2011年考研英语二大作文是考研英语二写作技巧常考话题的典型代表，研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解，关注我们即可免费获取预测资料，欢迎在线咨询。