当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2021年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一作文范文话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
This is an excerpt from a simple yet thought-provoking article, in whitch the author informs us that to do that you like and don’t care about other’s opinions. I agree whith the author’s opinions.
The reasons can be listed as follows. Frist and foremost, if that things are not illegal and you really like it, you don’t need to care others how to comment. Youself become happy are important than care about that others think. One the other hand, opera is chinese treditional culture, we should inherit it. Many young people usually watch film, like opera, paper cuttings and shadow puppetry these traditional cultures that few people would learn anymore.
In brief, opear is the catalyst for socital and personal development, from whitch we all stand to bensfit. Therfore, we should actively support and advocate this practice we should actively promate and carry forward traditional cuture; additionally, we must acutely aware the detrimental effects of modern entertainment to ensure our groiwyh stays on curse.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:an excerpt from a simple yet thought-provoking article
批改:这个模版句使用不正确,这里是一个卡通漫画,直接表述:a simple yet thought-provoking cartoon就行
原文:whitch
批改:单词拼写错误,which
原文:that
批改:that后面引导从句,后面如果要用不定式结构就把that删去
原文:that you like
批改:宾语从句的引导词没有that,这里应该是what
原文:other’s
批改:others’ 复数所有格
原文:that things
批改:改成something更好一点
原文:care
批改:care about
原文:others how to comment.
批改:others’ comments
原文:importan
批改:important比较级:more important
原文:that
批改:同样的错误,宾语从句引导词应当使用what
原文: One
批改:on
原文:chinese treditional culture
批改:Opera不代表中国传统文化全部,所以应当加一个part of opera is part of Chinese traditional culture
原文:we should inherit it.
批改:这里如果想加一个单独的句子要么加上并列连词改成并列结构,要么改成定语从句。 这里给一个定语从句的示范:which we should pass on(inherit).
原文:any young people usually watch film, like opera, paper cuttings and shadow puppetry these traditional cultures that few people would learn anymore.
批改:Many young people usually watch films, while few now learn traditional arts such as opera, paper-cutting and shadow puppetry.
原文:is
批改:提出观点需要用情态动词表示稳健,改成can be
原文:socital
批改:单词拼写错误:social
原文:we should actively support and advocate this practice
批改:语义重复,删去其一
原文:must
批改:后面aware是形容词,前面must后面要跟一个be
原文:detrimental effects
批改:这个词在这里用的太重了,换成potential downsides
原文:groiwyh
批改:单词拼写错误growth
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8/20
1.题目要求:基本回应题目,但第一段未“描述图片”。字数略少,有效信息不多。后文的一些论点与主旨的联系不够紧密。
2.语言表达:基础语法错误太多,看出想使用高级表达,但是请先保障正确的前提。
3.行文逻辑:三段结构有,但是每一段的论证结构不太清晰。
4.改进建议:考生应正视自己在语法和句意表达上的不足,应结合范文仔细剖析语言结构,做到模板应用的最优化。在行文方面应该紧扣论点,可以尝试将个人想法以中文呈现,再去用合适的/高级的英语词汇和语法进行润色。任重道远,请继续加油!
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