考研英语一2017年大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2017年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man laying on the choir and saying I have so many books". On the contrary, in the right-hand, there is a man planing to read 20 books in this year. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to reades that practicing is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the mone hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdater the quality of down to-the earth is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential band that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. On the other hand, 49. daydreaming is not merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth.

It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into self-destructive slide. 5a. In brief, practicing is the catalyst for so cietal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acuitely aware of the detrimental effects of day dreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e left-hand cartoon, there is a man laying on the choir and saying I have so many books". On the contrary, in the right-hand, there is a man planing to read 20 books in this year. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to reades that practicing is the brush that paints a bright future, while daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：​ 本段成功描述了两幅图的对比，并准确提炼了漫画寓意

原文： laying on the choir and saying I have so many books". On the contrary, in the right-hand, there is a man planing to read 20 books in this year. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to rea

批改：laying on the choir-> lying on the chair（“躺在椅子上”是 lying on the chair；laying是及物动词，choir是“合唱团”）。 reades-> readers（拼写修正）。 planing-> planning（拼写修正）。

原文：henomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the mone hand, while certain Chinese traditions may be outdater the quality of down to-the earth is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential band that keeps the Chinese nation thriving. On the other hand, 49. daydreaming is not merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth.

批改：第一个论点提到了“中国传统”和“脚踏实地”的品质，这个角度很宏大。我们可以尝试让论证更具体，直接说明“脚踏实地”（即实践）这个品质本身为什么重要，以及它是如何帮助个人成功的，这样论证会更直接有力。 第二个论点从反面论证“空想”的危害，比喻（chronic poison, Achilles" heel）非常生动，句子 It silently erodes opportunities...也写得很深刻。这是本段的亮点。 本段采用了正反对比论证，结构清晰。主要的提升空间在于第一个论点的聚焦和深化。我们可以将论点更集中于“实践”对个人的具体影响上，而不是扩展到更宏大的概念，这样文章的内在逻辑会更紧凑。

原文：On the mone hand, while

批改：On the mone hand-> On the one hand（拼写修正）。 outdater-> outdated（拼写修正）。 down to-the earth-> down-to-earth（“脚踏实地”是固定搭配）。 essential band-> essential bond（“纽带”是 bond）。

原文：ntly erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into self-destructive slide. 5a. In brief, practicing is the catalyst for so cietal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acuitely aware of the detrimental effects of day dreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：​ 结论段再次点题，并给出了积极的建议，从正反两方面总结，结构完整

原文：r so cietal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively su

批改：so cietal-> societal（拼写修正）。 acuitely-> acutely（拼写修正）。 day dreaming-> daydreaming（合并为一个词）。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

总评与建议：

同学，你的作文审题准确，结构完整，特别是对比喻修辞的运用非常出彩，这为你获取高分打下了很好的基础！

如果希望在现有的好基础上追求更高分数，我们可以聚焦于论证的聚焦度和深度：

让论证更具体：在提出分论点时，可以思考“实践”或“空想”是如何具体影响一个人的学习和成长的，并围绕这个核心展开一两句解释。这能让论证更实在，更切中漫画的寓意。

优化论点衔接：确保两个分论点都紧密围绕最核心的主题展开，它们之间的逻辑联系会更紧密。

对2017年考研英语一大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。