考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2016年考研英语一批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语一写作技巧教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV, while asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that, models are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative models are the shackle that hinders children"s progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, learning from positive models can ignite children"s creativity and nurture their souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand,making negative models to children is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, positive models are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit, Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative models to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV, while asking his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father is studying with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that, models are the brush that paints a bright future for children, while negative models are the shackle that hinders children"s progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：models

批改：positive models

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, learning from positive models can ignite children"s creativity and nurture their souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand,making negative models to children is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：In brief, positive models are the catalyst for children"s development, from which they all stand to benefit, Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative models to ensure children"s growth stays on course.

批改：该段再次总结强调写作的中心，起到了点题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：18/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础很好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，继续加油。

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