考研英语一2017年大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2017年考研英语一大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作技巧评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目

考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, lying in a chair and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is planning to read 20 books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while being unpractical is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity and nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the Other hand, being unpractical is like a heavy chain that hinders personal progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief being practical is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effect of being unpractical to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the left-hand cartoon, there is a man, lying in a chair and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another man is planning to read 20 books in this year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practical is the brush that paints a bright future, while being unpractical is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：图画描述比上一次更准确了，核心寓意的提炼也非常到位，“brush”和“shackle”的比喻依然用得十分漂亮！

原文：s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practical can ignite our creativity and nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the Other hand, being unpractical is like a heavy chain that hinders personal progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段通过“On the one hand... On the other hand...”的结构进行正反论证，逻辑清晰。特别是“ignite our creativity and nurture our souls”这样的表达

原文：On the Other

批改：On the Other hand... 这里的单词“Other”不需要首字母大写，保持 on the other hand 即可

原文：eaving them with a nega

批改：...leaving them with a negative outlook... 这里出现了一个小小的指代不一致。句子的主语是 “being unpractical”（一种抽象概念），但代词用了 “them”（指代人）。为了使逻辑更严谨，可以调整一下。比如，可以改为 ...leaving individuals with a negative outlook... 或者 ...which leaves people with a negative outlook...

原文：rief being practical is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effect of being unpractical to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：结论段再次点题，总结了实践的重要性，并提出了呼吁，结构非常完整

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

评分理由：

内容与结构：完全切题，三段式结构层次分明，逻辑清晰。

词汇与语法：成功运用了“catalyst", "detrimental", "ignite and nurture"等高级词汇和短语，并有效地使用了复合句和比喻修辞，文章很有亮点。

衔接与连贯：使用“Evidently", "On the one hand...", "Therefore"等衔接词，使文章行文流畅。

目前存在的主要是一些细微的语法和标点问题，不影响理解，但影响了精准度。

总评与修改建议：

下一步，我们可以朝着“追求卓越”的方向努力：

追求指代的精确性：下次写作时，可以特别留意一下代词（如them, it）指代的是否清晰，确保抽象主语和人称代词之间的逻辑关系完全对应。

养成检查“小零件”的习惯：在完稿后，花一分钟快速扫描一下冠词、介词和标点这些“小零件”。比如，检查一下“In brief”后面有没有逗号，句尾有没有句号。这个好习惯能帮你轻松拿下那些因疏忽而丢掉的分数。

本文精解的2017年考研英语一范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作技巧备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。