考研英语二2016年大作文失分点批改

本文整理了2016年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie charr clearly displays the perontage breakdown of students trival attention in a collage enjoying views takes the lend at 37％ follwed by relieveing stress at 30%. Additionally factors such as making friends,developing independent ability and others are alse considered accounting to 9%，6%.and 15%. respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follow. To start with as the saying goes" On life"s stage, pressure is always present". Nowdays, univrsity students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traviling has energed as their significant choice for untilizing leisure time. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitude towards, people are no longer content with mere matorial sericaction, they also presue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose green transportation rather than traditional fuel-based options. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is uesurprising

What about furture trends? I am confident that the above satistical figures accurately and truthfully reflact the choices of collage students serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：e charr

批改：charr -> chart (拼写错误)

原文： perontage breakdown of students trival attention in a collage enjoying views takes the lend

批改：perontage -> percentage (拼写错误) students trival attention -> students" travel purposes (核心概念表达错误，trival是travel的拼写错误，purpose才是“目的”)

原文：llage enjoying views takes the lend at 37％

批改：collage -> college (拼写错误) takes the lend at -> Taking the lead at (分词结构使用错误，lead拼写错误)

原文：wed by relievein

批改：follwed by -> followed by (拼写错误) relieveing stress -> relieving stress (拼写错误)

原文：s at 30

批改：at 30% -> at 33% (数据错误，图表显示为33%) alse -> also (拼写错误)

原文： accounting to 9

批改：accounting to -> accounting for (固定搭配错误)

原文：ie charr clearly displays the perontage breakdown of students trival attention in a collage enjoying views takes the lend at 37％ follwed by relieveing stress at 30%. Additionally factors such as making friends,developing independent ability and others are alse considered accounting to 9%，6%.and 15%. respectively.

批改：段完成了描述图表的核心任务，所有目的类别都已涵盖。但语言的准确性是主要问题，出现了大量影响理解的拼写和用词错误，

原文：s follow. To start with as the saying goes" On life"s stage, pressure is always present". Nowdays

批改：as follow -> as follows (固定搭配) Nowdays -> Nowadays (拼写错误)

原文：univrsity students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, travilin

批改：univrsity -> university (拼写错误) traviling -> traveling (拼写错误)

原文：energed as their significant choice for untilizing

批改：energed -> emerged (拼写错误) untilizing -> utilizing (拼写错误)

原文：atorial sericaction, they also presue spiritu

批改：matorial sericaction -> material satisfaction (拼写错误) presue -> pursue (拼写错误)

原文：e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follow. To start with as the saying goes" On life"s stage, pressure is always present". Nowdays, univrsity students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, traviling has energed as their significant choice for untilizing leisure time. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s attitude towards, people are no longer content with mere matorial sericaction, they also presue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose green transportation rather than traditional fuel-based options. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is uesurprising

批改：本段的前两个论点（缓解压力、追求精神享受）与图表内容是相关的，分析方向正确。但最后一个关于“交通方式”的论点偏离主题

原文：ut furture trends? I am confident that the above satistical figur

批改：furture -> future (拼写错误) satistical -> statistical (拼写错误)

原文： reflact the choices of collage

批改：reflact -> reflect (拼写错误) collage -> college (拼写错误)

原文： about furture trends? I am confident that the above satistical figures accurately and truthfully reflact the choices of collage students serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：结尾段对未来的预测合乎逻辑

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9分

得分理由：基本完成了试题规定的任务，包含了多数内容要点。但漏掉或错误阐述了一些内容要点（如数据错误），有一些语法及词汇错误，并且写了一些无关内容（绿色交通），影响了理解。

总评：

同学，你好！这篇作文让我看到了你清晰的写作思路和使用复杂句式的潜力，这非常棒！但我们也必须正视文中暴露出的几个关键问题。

1. 语言方面：

当前最迫切需要解决的是基础词汇的拼写问题。文中出现了非常多高频词汇的拼写错误，这直接拉低了分数。请务必在写作后留出时间，像检查错别字一样逐词检查拼写，尤其是chart, percentage, travel, college, university等核心词汇。

2. 结构方面：

你的三段式结构很稳妥。但在内容上，需要确保论述的绝对相关性。第二段中“绿色交通”的论点是一个严重的偏题，这提示我们：任何时候都不能生硬地套用与主题无关的模板句。围绕图表本身提供的信息（压力大、爱风景）进行深入分析。

总的修改建议：

建立个人错词本：立即将本次作文中的拼写错误整理到一个本子上，反复记忆，确保下次不再犯。

紧扣主题，拒绝套用：在写下每一个句子后，都问自己一句：“这句话和图表有直接关系吗？”这将帮你过滤掉不相关的内容。

先稳后求彩：在保证所有句子拼写正确、语法通顺、内容相关的基础上，再考虑使用“microcosm”这样的亮点词汇。稳扎稳打是取得进步的关键。

对2016年考研英语二大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。