启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语一作文范文写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two viewers sitting on the boat and throwing rubbish in the river, which the river is filled with rubbish. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that casually throwing rubbish on travel is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, casually throwing rubbish not only hinders one"s success, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final stop towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell. What is more, casually throwing rubbish is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation’s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image.
How can we put an end to the problem of causal throwing rubbish? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including making behavioral standards and enhancing regulations. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to improving citizens’ quality. With the support of these measures, we tan effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:in
批改:改为 into 更合适
原文: the river
批改:删去,此处是 which 引导的定语从句,which 指代的已经是 the river 了,在从句中充当主语,所以此处不能再写 the river 了
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的
批改:语法正确
批改:语法正确
批改:内容表达很好,也很清晰
原文:causal
批改:此处为副词,改为 causally
批改:语法正确
原文:tan
批改:can
原文:on
批改:on travel 不是地道的搭配, 可改为 during, during travel 表示在旅行期间
原文:to improving
批改:此处为动词不定式 to do 结构,to 后面加的是动词原形,改为 to improve
原文:citizens’ quality
批改:要表示公民的素质/素养的话,表达为 civic quality
批改:结尾段内容表达不错
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15分/20分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明了个人观点,和图画的内容很贴合,但是整篇的主题词从 随手扔垃圾 改为 环境污染 的话,会更合适
语言表达:存在几处语法和拼写问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,尽量多用自己的话来写,总的来说写的不错,加油!
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语一作文范文都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2011年考研英语一范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
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