考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2016年考研英语一高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语一写作技巧高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a father,lying on sofa and watching TV,while asking his son to study hard.On the contrary,in the right-hand cartoon,the father study with his son together.Evidently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a positive example is the brush that paints the bright future,while a negative example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,being a positive for parents can nurture children’s souls,and promote their growth and self-fulfillment,thus making life rewarding and meaningful,rather than being self-consuming.On the other hand, a negative positive is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s progress,leaving them with a pessimistic outlook on life and preventing them from shinning brightly in future society.

In brief,being a positive example is the catalyst for children’s development,from which they all stand to benefit.Therefore,we should actively support and advocate this quality;additionally,we must acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a negative example to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： sofa

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 the sofa

原文：study

批改：主语是 the father, 此处要用谓语动词的三单形式，改为 studies

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

原文：being a positive

批改：改为 a positive example

原文：for parents

批改：可删去

原文：positive

批改：此处为 example

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：being

批改：删去

原文： they

批改：改为 we

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心 2. 主体段写作时主题词的表达也要准确。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

本文展示的2016年考研英语一范文可以提炼为考研英语一写作技巧的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。