思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2023年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pictures clearly depicts the breakdown percentage of the healthy level among the residents in our nation.In 2012,the proportion of the healthy level was approximately 8.8%,but by 2016,this figure has had a gradually risen to about 11.58%.In the contrast,the proportion experienced a significant increase from 2017 to 2021.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.First and foremost,as we know,the outbreak of the COVID-19 has impacted every aspect in our life,altering significant people’s behaviors and paying more attention to keeping healthy.Thus and increasing number of people tend to engage in daily exercise and make it a part of routine.As the conductor,our government make the tremendous efforts to building more infrastructures,providing ample opportunities doing sports.Considering the factors,the depicted phenomenon is not surprising.
What about future trend?I am confident that it truthfully reflects the choices of people,serving as the social development and will continue to increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The pictures clearly depicts the breakdown percentage of the healthy level among the residents in our nation
批改:主谓不一致,“pictures”是复数,谓语动词“depicts”应改为“depict”。
原文:.In 2012,the proportion of the healthy level was approximately 8.8%,but by 2016,this figure has had a gradually risen to about 11.58%
批改:“has had a gradually risen”表述错误,应改为“had gradually risen”
原文:In the contrast,the proportion experienced a significant increase from 2017 to 2021.
批改:“In the contrast”表述错误,应是“In contrast”。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:此句表达清晰,无语法和用词错误,起到引出下文原因阐述的作用。
原文:First and foremost,as we know,the outbreak of the COVID-19 has impacted every aspect in our life,altering significant people’s behaviors and paying more attention to keeping healthy.
批改:“altering significant people’s behaviors”表述有误,应是“significantly altering people’s behaviors”;“paying more attention to keeping healthy”缺少主语
原文:Thus and increasing number of people tend to engage in daily exercise and make it a part of routine.
批改:“Thus and increasing”表述错误,应是“Thus an increasing”。
原文:As the conductor,our government make the tremendous efforts to building more infrastructures,providing ample opportunities doing sports.
批改:“As the conductor”表述不当,应是“As the organizer”;“make”应改为“makes”;“to building”应改为“to build”;“opportunities doing sports”应改为“opportunities for doing sports”。
原文:Considering the factors,the depicted phenomenon is not surprising.
批改:此句表达合理,逻辑清晰,无语法和用词错误。
原文:What about future trend?I am confident that it truthfully reflects the choices of people,serving as the social development and will continue to increase in the following decades.
批改:“serving as the social development”表述错误,应是“serving as an indicator of social development”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11/15
题目要求:尝试对图表中我国居民健康水平比例在2012 - 2021年间的变化情况进行描述,提及了2012 - 2016年以及2017 - 2021年不同阶段的比例变化趋势,从新冠疫情改变人们行为、政府建设基础设施提供运动机会等方面分析了健康水平比例上升的原因,并对未来趋势进行了预测,在一定程度上满足了给出评论的要求,但评论的深度和广度有待提升。
语言表达:文中存在主谓不一致(如“The pictures clearly depicts”)、时态错误(如“this figure has had a gradually risen”)、固定搭配错误(如“In the contrast”“opportunities doing sports”)等问题,严重影响了句子的准确性和流畅性
内容层面:整体涵盖了图表描述、原因分析和未来预测等方面,内容框架较为完整
修改建议:仔细检查文章中的语法错误,加强对时态、主谓一致、固定搭配等语法知识的运用;积累准确的词汇,注意词汇的搭配和用法,避免用词不当的问题。
启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2023年考研英语二范文,正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改,扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语作文真题范文免费批改名额。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考