想要在2027考研英语写作中拿到高分?研读启航教育整理的2021年考研英语一批改范例就是捷径之一。本文范文紧扣考研英语一作文模板核心话题,从开头引入到结尾升华都做了精细打磨,是短期内快速提升考研英语写作水平的优质资源。
一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目
考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture, there is a son saying that his classmates think study traditional Chinese opera is not interesting. His father is replying that you like it is enough. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that the influence of the comments and thoughts from others is an issue
that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, we can"t ignore the voice from the people around completely. On the other hand, we
should follow our hearts. Don"t change our minds easily.
Therefore, the influence of the voice from others, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of
young people. It is important for us to establish the correct value system and insist ourselves.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: shown in the picture, there is a son saying that his classmates think study traditional Chinese opera is not interesting. His father is replying that you like it is enough. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that the influence of the comments and thoughts from others is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:你很好地完成了图画描述和主旨揭示的任务
原文:study traditional Chinese opera i
批改:study traditional Chinese opera -> studying traditional Chinese opera 或 learning traditional Chinese opera。动词原形“study”不能直接放在动词“think”后面作宾语,需要用动名词形式。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, we can"t ignore the voice from the people around completely. On the other hand, we should follow our hearts. Don"t change our minds easily.
批改:这一段的分点论述逻辑是清晰的,观点也很明确
原文: we can"t ignore the
批改:we can"t ignore... completely -> we cannot completely ignore...。在英语中,副词如“completely”通常放在否定词“cannot”之后,主要动词之前。
原文:erefore, the influence of the voice from others, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword which can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. It is important for us to establish the correct value system and insist ourselves
批改:结尾段成功总结了观点,并使用了“double-edged sword”这样的生动表达,很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
结构完整,逻辑清晰。在语言运用和词汇丰富度上还有提升空间。
总评与修改建议:
这篇作文最大的优点在于审题准确,思路清晰。你准确地抓住了图画的寓意,并且能够有条理地展开论述,这是非常可贵的能力。
请特别留意英语中“非谓语动词”(如 studying)和“形式主语”(It is... that...)的用法。平时在阅读时可以多观察、积累这类句型,它们能让你的表达立刻显得更地道。
丰富词汇与搭配:可以有意识地积累和使用更精确的短语。比如,将“insist ourselves”替换为“stay true to ourselves”,小小的改动会让表达水平显著提升。
增强句与句之间的黏合度:在提出两个相对的观点时,可以尝试用“while”(然而)或“although”(尽管)这样的连词来连接,代替简单的“On the one hand... On the other hand...”,这样逻辑推进会更自然。
2021年考研英语一大作文是考研英语一作文模板常考话题的典型代表,研读与模仿高分范文是高效的提分方式。启航教育会持续推出考研英语大作文热点话题预测与范文精解,关注我们即可免费获取预测资料,欢迎在线咨询。
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