作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2023年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语二大作文常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line chart clearly depicts the level of health literacy among residents in our country during 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of residents" health literacy level was 8.80%, but by 2016, this rate had gradually risen to 11.58%. Meanwhile, the proportion experienced a significant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
The core reasons about the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound health information and serving system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities to find information and make reasonable decisions. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COUID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of people have started paying more attention to health and raise health literacy quickly. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I"m confident that the proportion of residents" health literacy is a clear sign of social development and will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:during
批改:在 "during 2012 to 2021" 中,介词使用可以更准确一些,通常我们说 "from 2012 to 2021" 或者 "between 2012 and 2021"。
原文:ne chart clearly depicts the level of health literacy among residents in our country during 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of residents" health literacy level was 8.80%, but by 2016, this rate had gradually risen to 11.58%. Meanwhile, the proportion experienced a significant increase of 13.82% from 2016 to 2021.
批改:第一段准确地描述了图表中的关键数据点(起点、转折点和终点),并清晰地呈现了变化的趋势
原文:reasons about
批改:"reasons about" 这个搭配不太常见,通常我们说 "reasons for" the phenomenon。
原文:raise health literacy quickl
批改:"raise health literacy quickly" 时态和前文不一致,前面是 "have started paying",所以这里用 "and have raised" 会更平行。此外,"quickly" 可以换成 "accordingly" 或 "as a result" 来让逻辑连接更紧密。
原文:COUID-19 h
批改:"COUID-19" 是拼写错误,应为 "COVID-19"。
原文: core reasons about the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound health information and serving system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities to find information and make reasonable decisions. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COUID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of people have started paying more attention to health and raise health literacy quickly. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:原因分析部分的结构很好,从政府和社会事件两个层面展开,逻辑清晰。提出的两点原因也非常切题,并且有进一步的解释,内容很充实。主要是一些用词和语法细节可以处理得更地道
原文:he proportion of reside
批改:"the proportion of residents" health literacy" 搭配不当,"proportion" 通常指可数部分或比例,与 "health literacy" 搭配不自然。可以直接说 "residents" health literacy" 或 "the health literacy rate"。
原文:at about future trends? I"m confident that the proportion of residents" health literacy is a clear sign of social development and will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:对未来趋势给出了明确的预测,并尝试将其与社会发展联系起来,这个思路很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
总分与总评
这篇作文较好地完成了任务。具体来看,内容要点完整,结构清晰,使用了较丰富的词汇和语法结构。主要失分点在于一些词汇搭配、介词使用和个别语法错误。
多留意名词、动词和介词的固定搭配,比如“reasons for”、“rise to a percentage”。
句子的严谨性:写完句子后,可以再读一遍,检查主谓一致、时态呼应等细节,比如“have started paying... and have raised”。
保持你的逻辑思维,同时在语言细节上多加打磨,继续加油!
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