2011年考研英语二大作文怎么写？附例文批改

思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2011年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly shows the market share of several car brands in the domestic market in 2008 and 2011. In 2008, the market share of domestic brands was about 25%, but by 2011, it had gradually risen to around 33%.In contrast, the share of Japanese brands experienced a significant decline of about 19% during the same period. Meanwhile, the proportion of American brands remained stable.

The reasons for this trend can be summarized as follows. Against the backdrop of China"s rapid development, the younger generation, especially those born in the 1990s and 2000s, have become accustomed to using domestic brands and thus form the main consumer group. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing a profound transformation.In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress in China"s manufacturing industry.

Considering these factors, the market share of domestic brands is likely to continue growing in the coming decades. In contrast, the share of Japanese brands may keep declining, partly due to competition with domestic brands.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The bar chart clearly shows the market share of several car brands in the domestic market in 2008 and 2011.

批改：首句概括图表内容，还可以这样表述“The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：2011

批改：注意看图中时间是2009，不要在细节上出错

原文：2011

批改：改为 2009

原文：around

批改：描述图表时运用一些小词如 approximately/nearly/around等，有利于提高表达的准确度

原文：experienced a significant decline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：19%

批改：注意图中日系品牌所占份额大致是从35%降至25%，降幅约为10%，仔细观察并描述图表数据，避免产生过大出入

原文：The bar chart clearly shows the market share of several car brands in the domestic market in 2008 and 2011. In 2008, the market share of domestic brands was about 25%, but by 2011, it had gradually risen to around 33%.In contrast, the share of Japanese brands experienced a significant decline of about 19% during the same period. Meanwhile, the proportion of American brands remained stable.

批改：首段图表内容描述基本到位，但图中部分数据表述不够准确，需要注意区分不同图表类型（柱状图/折线图/饼状图等）及应当如何描述；除此之外，丰富用词，转换词性，像decline就既可以作名词，又可以作动词，掌握一个词的不同用法有利于变换表达方式，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文：this trend

批改：根据图中所展现的现象或趋势，最好用一句话概括给出自己的观点“国产汽车品牌相比其他汽车品牌呈日益上升的趋势”，再分析原因

原文：Against the backdrop of China"s rapid development, the younger generation, especially those born in the 1990s and 2000s, have become accustomed to using domestic brands and thus form the main consumer group. In addition, Chinese society is undergoing a profound transformation.In my view, the fundamental reason for this phenomenon is the significant progress in China"s manufacturing industry.

批改：前两点从国家和社会层面分析产生这种趋势或现象的原因，第三点则从市场/行业的角度出发。主干的行文角度较全面，除了以上几种论述角度，建议可以拓展更多主体，还可以从“国产汽车品牌自身优势”、“人们购买力提升”的角度入手，如 “Chinese automobile brand, preferred by the young with enhanced disposable income, has been more competitive due to its advantageous price and technological advancement.”

原文：continue growing

批改：改为 continue to grow

原文：manufacturing industry

批改：可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：Considering these factors, the market share of domestic brands is likely to continue growing in the coming decades. In contrast, the share of Japanese brands may keep declining, partly due to competition with domestic brands.

批改：结尾预测未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额将继续扩大，建议可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述还可以更准确；

2）语言上：表达较为顺畅，用词和句型可以更丰富；

3）结构上：有自己的行文角度，但论述可以更有逻辑；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2011年考研英语二范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。