考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

2016年考研英语一大作文的评分标准严格，对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例，全程贯彻考研英语一真题写作锦囊的核心要点，可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father sitting on sofa and watching TV, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the, right-hand between the father hard and son together to study hard . Evidently, the cartonnist intend to convey to readers that good examples, is the brush that paints a bright future, While examples is the shackle-that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-pracking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. On the One hand, good examples can ignite our nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hard, bad examples not only hinders one"s sucess, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell. In brief, good exampls is the Catalist for societal and persanral development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate his quality; additonally We must be actitely aware of the detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure our growth staps on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father sitting on sofa and watching TV, while demanding his son to study hard.

批改：描述了左边漫画的内容，基本清晰

原文：On the contrary, in the, right-hand between the father hard and son together to study hard .

批改：此句存在严重语法错误和表达混乱问题。“in the, right - hand”表述有误，“between the father hard and son”语义不通，整体无法准确传达右边漫画的内容。建议改成“On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, both the father and son are devoted to their studies. ”

原文：Evidently, the cartonnist intend to convey to readers that good examples, is the brush that paints a bright future, While examples is the shackle-that hinders progress.

批改：“cartonnist”拼写错误，应为“cartoonist”；“intend”应改为“intends”，主谓不一致；“good examples, is”和“examples is”表述错误，应分别改为“good examples are”和“bad examples are”；“While”首字母不应大写。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-pracking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant.

批改：“thought - pracking”拼写错误，可能是想表达“thought - provoking”；“particulary”拼写错误，应为“particularly”。

原文：On the One hand, good examples can ignite our nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming.

批改：“ignite our nurture our souls”表述混乱，应改为“ignite and nurture our souls”；“being self - consuming”表意不太清晰。

原文：On the other hard, bad examples not only hinders one"s sucess, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell.

批改：“On the other hard”表述错误，应为“On the other hand”；“hinders”应改为“hinder”，主谓不一致；“sucess”拼写错误，应为“success”。

原文： In brief, good exampls is the Catalist for societal and persanral development, from which we all stand to benefit.

批改：“good exampls”拼写错误，应为“good examples”；“Catalist”拼写错误，应为“Catalyst”；“persanral”拼写错误，应为“personal”。

原文：Therefore, we should actively support and advocate his quality; additonally We must be actitely aware of the detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure our growth staps on course.

批改：“his quality”表述错误，结合前文应是“this quality”；“additonally”拼写错误，应为“additionally”；“actitely”拼写错误，应为“actively”；“staps”拼写错误，应为“stays”。

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father sitting on sofa and watching TV, while demanding his son to study hard. On the contrary, in the, right-hand between the father hard and son together to study hard . Evidently, the cartonnist intend to convey to readers that good examples, is the brush that paints a bright future, While examples is the shackle-that hinders progress

批改：试图对两幅漫画进行描述并引出主题，有基本的写作思路。存在大量语法错误、拼写错误和表达混乱问题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-pracking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. On the One hand, good examples can ignite our nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hard, bad examples not only hinders one"s sucess, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell. In brief, good exampls is the Catalist for societal and persanral development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate his quality; additonally We must be actitely aware of the detrimental effects of bad examples to ensure our growth staps on course

批改：对漫画所反映的现象进行了解读，阐述了好榜样和坏榜样的影响，有一定的逻辑性。同样存在较多拼写错误和语法问题，影响了句子的准确性和流畅性，使得观点的表达不够清晰有力。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：8/20

题目要求：文章基本遵循了题目要求，尝试对给定图片进行描述，阐述了图片所反映的好榜样与坏榜样现象的意义，并给出了自己的评论，涵盖了题目要求的三个关键要点，即描述图片、解读意义和发表评论，没有偏离题目的核心方向。但是在描述图片环节，由于语言表达不准确，未能清晰、完整且生动地呈现出两幅漫画的具体细节和场景。

语言表达：存在主谓不一致（如“the cartonnist intend”“good exampls is”）、拼写错误（如“cartonnist”“thought - pracking”“particulary”“sucess”“additonally”“actitely”“staps”）、词性误用等多种语法问题，严重影响了句子的准确性和流畅性。

内容层面：对好榜样和坏榜样所带来的影响进行了较为全面的阐述，从个人成长、社会发展的角度分析了好榜样的积极作用以及坏榜样的消极作用，观点明确，有一定的深度和逻辑性。

修改建议：学习正确的句子结构，避免出现结构混乱、表意不清的句子。

加油！

启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念，深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2016年考研英语一范文仅是冰山一角，更多考研英语一真题高分资料与免费批改服务，期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。